Well, it's no good me scribbling about American matters, all my American pals are lying in bed today groaning with a combination of hangovers and over-eating indigestion following yesterday's celebrations. Thus, I will concentrate on Dave's long-awaited 'Big Speech' in which he told us through the pursed and determined lips of his little mouth that when it comes to immigration, er, 'he gets it'! Welcome to the club, Dave, and how long has it taken you to, er, 'get it'? I would suggest sometime during the past few months when UKIP surged and, 'like a hanging in the morning', your mind was suddenly and wonderfully concentrated. Forgive me, Dave, if the frequent tilting up of your chin during the speech, probably in compliance to your body-language coach, failed to convince me utterly!
There are two huge problems hanging over the entire exercise you propose. First, and I confess my lack of expertise, I would suggest that much of what you propose concerning the rules and regs for European immigrants will be anathema to quite a large slice of EU nations - not to all but to quite a number. Thus, since you have been fairly detailed (honest?) in telling us your aims, any watering down will be seen as a 'Big Fail'! At that point, the Apocalyptic Question arises! Carefully, you specify that in the event of the negotiations breaking down you said, "I will rule nothing out'" Oh, Dave baby, what a little tease you are! Actually, being as I am, something of an admirer of real-politik, I think those words were well chosen. Of course, it confirms my belief that you are not to be trusted further than I can piss into a gale but, heh!, we all knew that anyway.
So now, 'Kippers', it's over to you! You have six months to achieve two aims. First, to put the electoral fear of God (or perhaps that should read 'fear of the voters!) into all those shaky Tory seats. Dave has been shifted as far as he will go prior to voting day but the more Tory MPs you can pressure into moving to his Right the better. But, dammit, you have yet another and perhaps even more important duty to carry out for your country - get very, very busy in all those working-class Labour seats! Your motto is simple - 'Anyone - Anything - But Ed!' The Brussels apparatchiks will be watching this next election very, very carefully and they will hope that the Tories fail - 'Juncker the Drunker' has already placed his champagne in the chiller-cabinet! So go to it, 'Kippers', keep Dave in and keep Ed out!
