When Ken and I got married almost 19 years ago, neither of us ran. In fact, we had skillfully perfected the art of sitting on the couch, drinking beer and watching Melrose Place (well, I watched, he made fun of it). Over time, I became a runner, then Ken did. The good thing about that is that we can find common ground in the odd/annoying/predictable things that runners do.
That being said, if I was single and contemplating marrying a RT (Runner Type), there are some things I would surely want to know before hand.
1. Disgusting Habits Are Common Place. You may think you know your RT very well, That is until you witness them during or after a run. Your RT will blow snot out of their nose, fart, have extreme BO, and often sprint desperately for the bathroom. This is all very normal in the running world, but may be slightly unattractive, disgusting and unromantic to the running outsider (see this post called, “8 Raunchy Things Runners Do and Why”).
2. There Will Be Laundry. Tons Of It. If you marry an RT there will be double the amount of laundry you are used to. Running is messy and tends soil clothing and make it stink. This means the laundry basket will be piled high with sports bras, shorts, tights, and socks. You can even expect to find the occasional empty GU packet or used band aid (nipple chafing anyone?) that gets inadvertently washed in the washing machine.
3. Annoying Acronyms Will Arise. If you marry an RT, you will likely be confused during pillow talk and happy hours if you do not learn such acronyms as BQ, DNF, DNS, PR, DFL, LSD, VO2, and PW. A sample sentence your runner type might throw at you could be, “I attempted to BQ and get a PR, but ended up getting a PW when I came in DFL.” (See definitions HERE)
4. Trauma Will Come From Injury. Most likely at some point your RT will become injured and will be unable to run. This will likely result in crying, anger, depression and the RT’s urge to punch other runners they see outside. Do not take this personally. You can educate yourself about this traumatic time in a runner’s life by reading this post about the Stages of Running Injuries.
5. You Better Like To Ride Your Bike Slow. If you marry an RT, and especially if your RT is training for a half or full marathon, you may very likely be asked to be their support crew on their long runs (i.e., LSDs). This could most definitely involve riding your bike alongside of your RT for 20 miles at 6 mph (that is 200 minutes or 3 hours, 20 minutes) while handing them GUs, water bottles, Kleenex, tampons and toilet paper.
6. If You Have a Foot Fetish, You Are In Trouble. Your RT will have disgusting feet. They will be covered in blisters and bunions. Several toe nails may be missing. You might even be asked to rub these feet on occasion, so be prepared (rubber gloves are helpful).
7. Let’s Hope Absence Does Make the Heart Grow Fonder. Should you chose to forgo the biking alongside of your RT, just know that he/she will be missing for hours at a time during long runs. You may often feel like you have been widowed and you may even find yourself jealous of running. This is completely natural and should subside during periods of taper, recovery and injury.
8. Running Is Expensive. Your RT will spend a lot of money on running crap. You may think that running only requires shoes, shorts and a shirt, but you are naive. There will be watches, race entry fees, fancy shoes, gels, gym memberships, coaches, PT appointments, massages and fuel belts, just for starters.
9. Vacations Are Planned Around Races – If you marry an RT, there will inevitably come a time when you are discussing taking an upcoming vacation and the RT starts to suggest vacation destinations based on his/her upcoming dream races. An example, “Yes baby cakes, I know we have talked about going to Hawaii for awhile, but there’s this marathon in San Francisco where firefighters give you Tiffany boxes at the finish line, and well, I was kinda thinking we could go there instead.”
These nine points are in no way meant to dissuade you from marrying a runner. It is good, however, to know what you’re getting yourself into. Who knows, maybe you will join in and become an RT yourself.
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Can you relate to any of these? Do you have any to add to the list?
Does your spouse/significant other run?
SUAR
