Athletics Magazine

Are You A High Maintenance Runner?

By Brisdon @shutuprun

It was snowing like a mother this weekend, so I did what any respectable lazy ass would do and scrolled social media. A college friend had posted something on Facebook to score "How High Maintenance Are You?." Naturally, I took the bait because I've  done all the Buzz Feed quizzes and I already know what kind of cheese I am (sharp cheddar). 

Are You A High Maintenance Runner?The friend who posted this said she scored 93. I scored 12. This score made me insecure. Do I not take care of myself enough? Do I smell? Why do they spell "allot" that way and have I been spelling it wrong my whole life? (BTW, I own 20+ pairs of shoes, highlight my hair and wear ((shitty, grocery store)) make up everyday).

25 scarves?

This got me to thinking. Maybe it's just that I'm low maintenance when it comes to body hair and heels (aren't they just for strippers?). Perhaps my special gift is being high maintenance in other areas! So, I created this. Now we are speaking my language.

Are You A High Maintenance Runner?

Total Possible: 58

0-4: You are so low maintenance you basically are dead. But, good for you. You love running just for the bare bones of it.

4-20: You are semi high maintenance, but over all, quite sensible. You keep your costs low and focus on the act of running itself.

20-40: You are bordering on being very high maintenance and likely annoying to those around you, lol.

42-57: Definitely high maintenance. How do you live with yourself? 

58: You are insufferable and should re-evaluate all life choices. Maybe you should take up Pickleball. 

My score? 20 (wear make up to races, have recovery shoes that cost a lot ((allot)), have 10+ pairs of running shoes, sometimes blame outside circumstances for shitty performances).

By the way, none of this is judgey just meant for fun, so don't come at me!

Give me your scores! General high maintenance (first chart), runner high maintenance second chart. I'm 12/18. 

That was fun!


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