Humor Magazine

Come On, People, Don't Emote - THINK!

By Davidduff

I really do believe that the next election is the most critical we have held for the last three decades.  Politically speaking, we have, at last, reached a Y-junction.  This has not happened since 'that woman' ran the country because, frankly, since then it hasn't mattered too much which party held power, they were all more or less centrist.  Ideology was frowned upon, disputation was mere shadow-play and differences were minimised in order to keep the 24-hour news schedules calm.  The political elites have spent their time in a comfort zone with non-stop 'lift muzak' playing and gradually they have drifted away from us, the electorate, and instead they have drawn together, irrespective of party, inside the Westminster village.  The result, of course, is that 'we, the People' are revolting - and I do the jokes round here!

The most obvious sign of revolt can be seen in the inexorable rise and rise of UKIP which has subverted the Right-wing of the Conservative party.  In their beginnings they were amateurish stumblebums but very gradually they attracted one or two able men and, more important, some reasonably serious money.  As is often the way with 'ground roots' political movements, eventually they attracted a charismatic leader whose oratorical skill had such power that it floated the party from the backwaters into the mainstream.  UKIP is a Right-wing party but a very English Right-wing party.  Somehow, in some way, it never quite reaches the nastiness of Continental nationalist parties.  As Nigel Farage emphasises at every opportunity, it is possible to believe that it would be a real pleasure to share a pint or three with him down at the local pub.  Of how many politicians from the other parties could you say that?

But this disatisfaction, amounting almost to rebellion, against the perceived cosiness of the Westminster elite is not just confined to the Right. Thirty-odd years ago 'that woman' dealt the Left an almighty blow which brough them to their knees but it was not a death blow, they still live, they still breathe and they still, so to speak, reproduce.  Smaller but still as virulent the Left have infiltrated not just academia but also the weird and wonderful world of 'Quango-land', the massive state organsisations which still exist (like the BBC) and now we learn that even the mega-rich and increasingly influential charity organisations are led at the top by committed Leftists  - remember that the next time you see some sweet old lady rattling her collection tin outside your supermarket and tell her to piss off!  But most of all the real Left-wing power, and I'm talking Marxist power here, resides where it has always been - in the big trade unions which, since their tattered forces were routed by 'that woman', have been forced to amalgamate which has made their leaders immensely influential inside the Labour party where they hold the check book.

In other words, exactly the same revolt has occurred on the wings of both major parties.  The only difference is that UKIP is an external threat where-as the Unions are an internal threat.  Needless to say, the media being mostly idle and lazy will produce volumes on the Tories external and, courtesy of Mr. Farage, all too public threat whilst not bothering with the fact that the man who really runs the Labour party today and who gives the two Eds their orders is Len McCluskey of the UNITE union.  Most people's response to that is to ask, "Len who?"!  Nobody with even a minute social life pays much attention to party conferences which is a pity because it is now obvious that the Labour party have taken a definite turn to the Left.  They are now determined to return the country to state nationalisation and control.  Their 'hero' is not that half-litre socialist, Hollande, who even with his paltry socialism is rapidly running France into the ground, but the likes of the late and unlamented (except by some 'useful idiots') Hugo Chavez and the Castro family cartel which has kept Cuba in dire poverty for decades.  I cannot stress too strongly that the Miliband/McCluskey duality are determined to ram home state socialism, red in tooth and claw, or if you prefer, in hammer and sickle, if they get half a chance.

If, in some desperation (I hope), you now glance Rightwards towards the Tory party what you will see is not too comforting.  It is certainly not inspiring.  However, what you will see are signs of movement and, most important, movement in both the Right, and right, direction.  Yes, it is reluctant on the part of some, including the prime minister, but it is motion.  It is hard for any of us to admit that we were wrong - well, it's not too hard for me because I have you lot to point it out constantly - but when you are prime minister it is exceedingly tricky because too abrupt a volte face leaves you looking like a prat, which 'Dim Dave' might well be but, and here I admit I am crossing my fingers, I suspect that he is just intelligent enough to realize that perhaps he has made some mistakes.  It may have taken Nigel Farage's sawn-off shot gun pressed to his electoral tender parts to get the message across but I really do think he realises that an alteration in course is required even if, for practical political purposes, it must be done in a series of small changes.  

Now, judging by their comments, some of my 'UKIPper' pals, here at D&N, are suffering from 'terminal apocalyptic syndrome'!  For a start, they describe a Britain that I simply do not recognize.  Yes, there is much that is wrong but- it was ever thus!  Personally speaking, I look back to the 1950s as a golden age of tranquility and decency which, in my more grumpy moods, I tend to use as a comparison to the manic modern world.  But of course, that was judged from my own very personal upbringing during which I never experienced any of this:

Come on, People, don't emote - THINK!

Come on, People, don't emote - THINK!

Come on, People, don't emote - THINK!

Come on, People, don't emote - THINK!

Come on, People, don't emote - THINK!

All those pictures were taken somewhere 'oop north' during my so-called 'nirvana' of the 1950s!  So whatever age you live in there are always problems because nothing and nowhere is ever totally and forever trouble free.  It is easy to point at all manner of things in this, 'our septic Isle', and feel an urgent desire to bring down the whole rotten edifice whilst crying out, Lear-like, that the world is mad and it is time to end it all.  Well, if you vote for UKIP instead of the Conservatives you will get your wish.  To paraphrase 'Dave' you might go to bed dreaming of Nigel but you will wake up biting the pillow between the two Eds and even worse, with Len McCluskey standing at the foot of the bed wearing a basque and high-heels and cracking a whip!

So, I appeal to my 'UKIPper' friends when they enter the privacy of the voting booth to have the good sense to avoid the seductive but false pleasure of schadenfreude because when you pull down the roof of your own house you will get hurt just as badly as the rest of us.


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