Liz Barker shares a bit of her story in the following guest post. Her experience with breast cancer would be every woman’s nightmare…a breast cancer diagnosis during a pregnancy.
“Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans” John Lennon
Most people don’t like change. Sometimes if change is sudden and dramatic, it can set your entire world into a downward spiral. There are ways to cope with life altering changes – such as an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis. Learning how to accept and manage life’s challenges is vital to happiness, success and sometimes your very survival.
That is why my blog www.changedbychance.com and my forthcoming book are titled: “Changed by Chance, Champion by Choice”. I was determined to fight, and to be a champion against the adversities that literally tried to kill me, especially my horrifying breast cancer diagnosis in my 6th month of pregnancy. By sharing my personal story I hope to be able to save others some of the missteps, pain, and stress that I went through and to show that there is light at the end of each tunnel.
I did not fit the profile for breast cancer. I was young, (34), have no family history of the disease, was not overweight, nor a smoker or drinker. There were no environmental issues. I was almost 6 months pregnant and had just supposedly had a manual breast exam by my gynecologist at a prenatal visit. I discovered the small lump in my right outer breast myself after I felt “chafing” and the need to itch that area. I thought that it was due to my enlarged breasts and late pregnancy. I also felt slightly feverish. I promptly reported these symptoms to my doctor. He initially suspected that this was a clogged milk duct, but prudently ordered a breast ultrasound to coincide with the routine ultrasound that I had scheduled for the baby. (Because my daughter had Down Syndrome, I had already had a genetic test done that told me that this baby boy was quite healthy).
I had a bad experience that day at the hospital while waiting endlessly for that ultrasound appointment. I began to walk out in frustration. But a medical professional suddenly appeared out of nowhere and stopped me. She literally led me by the arm to the imaging department and stayed with me until I went in. As I explain in the book, in hindsight, that woman was a “guardian angel” for me. She literally saved my life! I was about to walk out and likely not go back until the cancer was much more pronounced. She was a stranger who kindly intervened and I owe her my life.
The ultrasound showed a “suspicious” lump. My gynecologist referred to a local surgeon, (mistake). I should have been referred to a breast or cancer specialist at this point. This surgeon removed the lump and then handled me and my diagnosis awkwardly and inadequately. He blurted out that I had to have an awful late stage abortion (to essentially kill my baby), and then to have a mastectomy and chemotherapy “to save myself”. What he should have done was to immediately refer me to a specialist who would be knowledgeable about breast cancer and its many treatment options.
I and Bryan were saved again by the intervention of a family friend who is a radiation oncologist. He countered what this generalist recommended and after making calls to major cancer centers, suggested a far better approach. I had my mastectomy while pregnant. It revealed 2 lymph nodes with cancer. Therefore I needed a chemo cocktail regiment. I began the chemo 1 month after the surgery at the start of my last trimester. I’d have 4 treatments while pregnant and 4 treatments after delivery (while I juggled a newborn and my other toddler son). I was told that Bryan might be “small or slow”. I was determined to carry on regardless and prayed mightily. Other than a bad experience with Compazine, my treatment was uneventful and I was determined to stay focused and positive during treatment. I was determined to fight and win. I was tired of all of the adversities from the prior 4 years. I wanted to be able to enjoy my 2 sons and my life again!
Fast forward… 21 years later now, both Bryan and I are well.
He is not slow or small and never was. He has always been an honors student and a varsity athlete. He is now a bio science major at University of Pennsylvania.
After my trans flap reconstruction the year after his birth, I felt young and fit again. I wore my hair short. I was careful with my nutrition and eating. Post chemo, I went through a year of treatment with a homeopathic physician to cleanse my body of the chemo toxins. I have followed some sort of exercise program ever since, even if it was just walking. At age 55 now, I am practicing yoga and I love it. It has transformed my post menopausal shape and helped my mental ability. I have been back to work and productive for the past 20 years. I am so thankful for my life, despite enduring that awful 5 year period that tested me so unmercifully. That is why I want to share my story with my book – to give others inspiration and hope and to show that it is important to always move forward and to not dwell on the past.
Change happens unexpectedly and you have to learn to roll with it and manage it as best as possible to survive.
What did I get breast cancer because I did not fit “the profile”? No one knows for sure but I have some suspicions. In my case, I had extraordinary stress compacted into 5 short years: the birth and death of my special needs daughter, an ectopic pregnancy that left me with Hepatitis B, 3 pregnancies in 5 years. That was a load of trauma and I believe that my immune system was greatly compromised by these extraordinary stresses.
My takeaways for you:
- Trust your body signal and your instincts to guide you
- Be open to assistance and “guardian angels” when they appear
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help and always seek 2nd opinions
- Surround yourself with positive energy and people, cut out negativity
- Make an honest assessment of your lifestyle and draw up a plan to make it healthier starting with small steps. As you feel better and see improvement, it will inspire you to move forward with bigger steps.
