Helping people adapt to and ultimately embrace change is part of my job. Recently, one of my clients said to me, “When things change abruptly, I feel sort of shell shocked, disoriented and, frankly, pissed off.”
I told her she’s not alone. Many people feel the way she does. Then she went on to say, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-change. In fact, I like changes… as long as they’re changes I’ve planned and implemented on my own terms.”
Here’s the thing about life, as we all discover at some point or another, it doesn’t always go according to plan.
So this is the advice I gave to my client…
When life takes an unexpected turn, big or small, there are certain things you can do that will help you adjust:
Accept Your Feelings
It’s okay that you’re not perfect. You get shell shocked, disoriented and, frankly, pissed off. These are normal reactions to things gone awry. You’re human, not a machine. And, being human, you have emotions and feelings. Accept your feelings, no matter how messy, uncomfortable and unpleasant they may be. But know that feelings will pass… once you let them.
Get On With It
The trick is to not make the pain any worse or to stay in the dark place too long. Give yourself a day at the most to whine, kick or scream. The next day, pick yourself up and get on with it. Accept the change that the universe has offered up. Remember, you can’t control everything that happens to you or around you. But you can control how you react. Okay, so now what? Now you have to deal with it. This is the time to process what this shift means in the overall picture of your life.
Count Your Blessings
Sure, sometimes, plans fail and the universe serves up a steaming plate of Unexpected and Unwanted Change for dinner. You might not have achieved all of your goals yet. (Rome wasn’t built in a day.) And at this stage in your life, you’re not where you want to be. But you still have a lot to be grateful for. Don’t forget to appreciate what you’ve got today while you’re working on creating a better tomorrow.
Personally, I always begin and end my days the same way. I wake up every morning and vow to make the best of the day ahead. And before I go to bed at night, I remind myself to be grateful for the things I have. These are basic (but necessary) things such as the roof overhead, the clothes on my back, and the food in my belly. I also have my eyesight, my hearing, and my sense of taste, touch, and smell intact. My body is in one piece and my legs can take me wherever I need to go. Countless people aren’t so fortunate. I don’t take any of these blessings for granted.
My famous last words for today:
Life is full of twists and turns. That’s life. Be thankful that you’re alive to experience the roller coaster.
That’s all for now. Have a fantastic Thanksgiving Weekend!
