Body, Mind, Spirit Magazine

Beat the Green-Eyed Monster

By Sofia Essen @GetYourUnique

Overnight success is a myth. Really, it’s just a myth, I promise. Success doesn’t happen overnight. It just doesn’t. Success is a result of thousands of days and nights of hard work.

When a particular goal seems so far out of reach that it feels like you’re never going to accomplish it, you get frustrated. You might even contemplate giving up. Then, to add insult to injury, a painful truth hits you like a slap in the face: there are other people in your field who seem to be having no trouble whatsoever achieving their goals.

Are these people as hardworking as you are? Are they as dedicated? Are they as deserving? They are not! Well, right now, in your mind, they aren’t. Of course, in reality, you can’t say for certain whether or not these people are as hardworking, dedicated, and deserving as you. All you know is that you envy them. And that’s okay. You’re a human being, not a machine. You have real, if not always completely rational, emotions. Sometimes, those emotions get the better of you. It happens.

It’s an ugly way to feel – unhappy because of someone else’s success. We human beings can be ugly. At one point or another in our lives, we’ve all let the green-eyed monster mess with our heads. I sure know that I have succumbed to jealousy in the past.

Life can on occasion appear full of reminders of what we lack. These reminders often take the form of other people. There is always someone who is more successful, more talented, more attractive, or more advanced in meeting important “milestones” than we are.

Aren’t you exhausted just thinking about it?

It takes huge amounts of energy to resent people, especially when they haven’t done anything to you other than succeed where you haven’t yet. So how do you kick that draining and nasty jealousy habit?

I have some suggestions…

Appreciate What You’ve Got.

One way to deal with frustrations and jealousy is to take a step back and think about what you’ve got. For example, do you have a roof overhead? Food in your belly? Clothes on your back? At this stage, you might not have everything you want but you’re fortunate if you have what you need. Many people don’t. As bad as you think you’ve got it on a rough day, remember to appreciate what you have. Don’t take the things you do have in your life for granted because you’re lusting after something else.

Be Honest.

Find out what you really want, not what everybody else wants.

I’m lucky in the sense that I was born a minimalist. When it comes to possessions, I’ve always felt that less is more. For example, I have a “capsule wardrobe” and I only buy clothes when I need to, clothes that are comfortable rather than fashionable. Designer labels have never been my thing. But if designer labels are your thing, that’s okay. Just make sure that your desires are your own. Do you really want that fancy car, luxury villa, latest designer handbag or cool gadget? Or are you just assuming that you want it because everyone else around you has it?

The same goes for your goals. Are the goals you want to achieve really your own? Or are you just assuming you want to achieve them because everyone else around you has?

It’s easy to fall prey to the green-eyed monster when people around you have X,Y and Z and are moving from one success to the next. But the next time you feel jealousy begin to stir in your gut, ask yourself if having X,Y and Z would make you happier.

Move On.

When I feel myself getting jealous, I face it, I acknowledge it, and then I shake it off and move on. Why do I move on? Because I have accepted the truth, which is that someone else’s good fortune or success does not affect my own. I can’t compare myself to other people because I’m me. And you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people because you’re you.

It’s okay to feel frustrated when things aren’t going well. It’s okay to feel bad when you hit a roadblock on the way to achieving a goal. It’s even okay to feel envious of someone else’s success… for a moment or two. Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. Acknowledge it. But then you have to move on. You have to move on and keep trying.

So there you have them, my top three tips for beating the green-eyed monster:

  1. Appreciate what you’ve got.
  2. Be honest with yourself about what you want.
  3. And move on.

It takes up too much of your time and energy to resent other people. Instead of letting the green-eyed monster eat you alive from the inside, use that energy to motivate you to work even harder on your next project or goal. Because all you can control in this life is yourself. Trust me. I speak from experience. And remember that overnight success is a myth. Success is the result of hard work and determination.

My famous last words for today:

Don’t get jealous. Get going.

That’s all for now. Have a great week!

Beat the Green-Eyed Monster

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