Health Magazine

Angel by Day, Devil by Night . . .

By Dreamchasa101 @dreamchasa101

Angel by day, Devil by night . . .

I felt confined.

During the next 3 years my parents and I moved a lot.  The recession had hit and was having a direct effect on my live-in situation.  Unfortunately, my live-in situation was becoming more an more uncomfortable.  It was all of the little things that were having a big impact on me.  Things like not having enough room to move around the way I wanted too, not feeling comfortable having people over and not being able to record music anymore.  Since 14, I had always used music as a way to express my inner-self, but with no longer having a basement, I had to break down my studio and was no longer able to record (Click here for my primary music page).  This economic insecurity to not sit well with my alcoholism.  I began to spend less and less time at home and more and more time in the streets.  

Angel by day, Devil by night . . .

Security Officer Vernon Allen . . . by day.

By this time, I was 24 and working full-time.  By day, I was a sworn-in government security officer; a law abiding, transportation screener on the front-line of Homeland Security.  By night, I turned into a protege of the Grim Reaper; a night riding drunk who frequented every strip club within a 20-mile radius.  A man who escaped the realities of life by giving into the temporary pleasures of sleeping with numerous woman.  I would either turn my car into the "Hotel on Wheels" or simply camp out at in random hotel rooms.  I had started smoking cigarettes and black and mild cigars in order to keep my buzz going for a long as possible.  Alcohol began to take me down roads I thought I would never travel, with people I had no business being around.  I would only hang out with certain people because we drank together.  I might not even like these people, but as long as we were drinking, everything was cool.  I hadn't had anything life altering happen yet (minus the D.U.I), but I do recall a couple of incidents that made me open my eyes to my alcoholism just a little bit more.  

Angel by day, Devil by night . . .

I didn't see the car coming.

One day, I had just got off of work and went straight to the liquor store.  Most of the time, I didn't even stop at home to change or take a shower after work; I would head straight into my addiction.  I remember having a terrible day at work that day.  A co-worker had said a racial slur to me and it really got underneath my skin.  Sometimes, alcoholics have a tendency to drink "at" people.  They will drink with a certain person in mind with hopes that the alcohol consumption will assist in getting back at that person.  Anyway, I drank two half pints of Seagrams Gin - Bumpy Face for you veteran drinkers - straight, back to back.  I just drank them while sitting in the parking area of a gas station.  As I pulled out of the gas station all I remember is hearing a horn blowing and looking to my right and seeing the headlights of a car.  It was coming straight at me!  I had either blacked out behind the wheel or was just so drunk that I wasn't paying attention.  I could have sworn I looked both ways - like we always do before pulling into a street - and didn't see any cars.  The car slowed down to avoid an accident and I hurried up and drove off.  I had just almost gotten into what would have been a D.U.I car accident - for me.  I remember hurrying home and saying I would never drink and drive again.  I think I was drinking and driving again after about 2 days.  The disease of alcoholism will do that to you.  

Angel by day, Devil by night . . .

I was passed out in the driver's seat for 10 hours.

I had another incident happen when I was out drinking with this girl all night.  I had planned on partying hard that night so I went and bought a fifth of Hennessy.  I didn't have to work the next day so I decided I'll drink it straight.  I picked her up around 10:00 p.m. and then we headed to her friend's house.  We drank over there till bout 3 a.m. and then I dropped the girl I was with back off at her place.  I was pretty drunk and tired driving home and when I finally made it back, I just passed out in the car.  I mean, I put the car in park and didn't even get a chance to turn off the ignition before I just passed out right there in the driver's seat.  So I slept in the car while it was still running for about 10 hours.  It was about 5 a.m. when I parked and I didn't wake up until about 3 p.m.  When I woke up, I was blacked out and could barely remember what happened the night before.  It took a while for me to realize where I was and how I had gotten there.  I just got to thinking about the endless possibilities of things that could have happened to me while I was sleep, drunk and not really conscience of what was going on around me.

Angel by day, Devil by night . . .

I moved out of my parent house.  

I finally came to the conclusion that getting my own place would be the best thing for me.  My live-in situation was driving me crazy and I thought having my own place would give me a peace of mind.  I started looking around and found a nice apartment not to far from my job.  I made enough money so I didn't have to find a roommate.  It would just be me, myself and I.  With that being said, I moved out of my parents place and into my first apartment.  
Within two months, I was unemployed.

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