Life Coach Magazine

You’re Playing With Fire

By Bren @Virtual_Bren

Why don’t some people see it? A love triangle or a quad can NEVER be good! Someone is going to get hurt!

Love Triangle

Love Triangle

It all starts off so innocently. You flirt. You chat. You email or text one another. You share your most emotional side with one another. And before you know it, you’re EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED. If you’re already in a relationship or a marriage, let me state it for the record now, YOU ARE CHEATING!

You think you can handle just being “platonic” friends, however, one or both parties would love to have more. Can it stay platonic? Highly doubtful. If other parties are involved, again, YOU ARE CHEATING!

The past is left in the past for a reason. If you have an ex girlfriend or boyfriend from many moons ago, it’s usually best to leave it that way, UNLESS, you and this person are currently single. If you are in a relationship or a marriage, I HIGHLY recommend you leave it in the past for nothing good can become of this.

Check out these disturbing facts:

It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage (see, Buss and Shackelford for review of this research).  And these numbers are probably on the conservative side, when you consider that close to half of all marriages end in divorce (people are more likely to stray as relationships fall apart.

Men are more likely to cheat than women.  But, as women become more financially independent, women are starting to act more like men with respect to infidelity.

Emotionally, it is possible to have feelings for more than one person at a time.  Pragmatically, loving more than one person is difficult to do.

Emotional infidelity, compared to just physical infidelity, can inflict as much, if not more, hurt, pain and suffering.  And to make matters worse, most infidelity involves both physical and emotional betrayal.

Like I said previously, I find these stats rather disturbing. What happened to “forsaken all others”?

I look back to the days of my Mother and Father. No matter how horrible things were, divorce was never mentioned. They came from the era where people stuck in out, For Better For Worse. Where have those days gone? Is it so easy for couples to betray one another and continue on like nothing is happening? And if found out, is it so easy to just call it quits and divorce?

Just to clear up “Emotional Cheating”, here are some unacceptable behaviors among couples. Again, YOU’RE PLAYING WITH FIRE if you engage in any of these.

  • Flirt with others
  • Engage in sexual talk with someone else
  • Exchange personal e-mails or text messages
  • Deny being married or in a relationship
  • Spend time with specific individuals
  • Engage in specific types of contact – sleeping in the same bed with another person
  • Purchase intimate gifts and presents for others
  • Chat online with someone else (online affairs)
  • Have sexual contact with someone else (physical infidelity)
  • Become emotionally involved with someone else (emotional infidelity)
  • Develop a crush or feelings for another individual
  • Share their most private thoughts and feelings with someone else

Might I add, if you have to hide texts, emails, pics etc., from your spouse/significant other, you are CHEATING.

So why PLAY WITH FIRE? Why not just be faithful to the one you are with OR end the relationship and then pursue something new. Nothing good can ever come from PLAYING WITH FIRE.

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The above is my personal opinions on the matter and for some reason over the past year or so, I’ve done a lot of research into relationships. I’ve seen my marriage almost go down the tubes. I’ve witnessed several of my friends get divorced; be cheated on; and get separated. It seems to be more prevalent now days and I’m not sure why. There is no rhyme or reason to it. I know couples go through mid-life crises and maybe that is part of what is going on. Or maybe people are too lazy to continue to work day in and day out on their marriages. Whatever it is, it is an epidemic in my eyes. I truly miss the good ole virtues of marriage and honoring one another. Life was so simple back then in my opinion.

So what are your thoughts? Do you think men and women play with fire and not hurt anyone? Would love to hear your thoughts. Let’s discuss!


“Image courtesy of marin/”.

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