Self Expression Magazine

Women and Men

By Melgrace5 @helgrace5

Women and Men

This makes me giggle.

Okay, so I’ve decided that whoever made/created mankind was NOT a woman. Well, I haven’t JUST decided, I’ve been thinking this for a while. Why? Well, I’m sure that if you’re a woman, or a really empathetic man ;), you would know exactly what I am talking about.

It could be because of two reasons:

1. He felt that someone had to go through all these sucky things. Well, it wouldn’t be him or his brethren, so it had to be the women.
2. He didn’t think men could handle going through the struggles, so he picked the women. The superior and more resilient of the species. (I personally prefer this, heh. I’m not a feminist, I’m just partially joking ;))

I’m sure there could be other reasons, but one thing is for sure. A woman goes through way too many things, not by choice, but by genetic predisposition.

  • Why are our clothes SO darn expensive? A nice fitting shirt (that won’t fall apart during the first wash) is at least $30. Then there are the shoes to match, the accessories, the hair, the makeup. I’ll confess now, I’m a VIB at Sephora. I’m nearing 1,000 points. For those who don’t know, 1 point=1 dollar. I know, embarassing and such a waste of money. But I can’t help it, they’re good at convincing you to buy these things that are so colourful and make you look pretty :).
  • The pregnancy and the labour. Or trying NOT to get pregnant. The stretch marks associated, the pain. I mean, hoping it’s a healthy baby, a 6-12 lb thing comes out of there (a beautiful thing, I may add). I feel worse for the small framed women (aka: me). Don’t forget the morning sickness and the baby weight that needs to be lost post-partum.
  • The grooming and the upkeep. The Brazillians are not enjoyable, unless you’re into that type of stuff….If you’re also into the mani/pedi ritual (I am not). That’s $100 a month minimum in upkeep. Plus, you have to wax/shave everything off, EXCEPT your eyebrows. Ladies, do not shave your’s not attractive. We’re not meant to look perpetually angry, eyebrows are great, please keep them.
  • The mood swings? Well, we’re not all that responsible for it…sometimes. There’s something called hormones that do a little shuffling business once a month that make us go all emotional. There are some women that are just batshit crazy, I agree, but for the most part, there’s some sane women left out there.
  • I saw this thought provoking meme on 9gag a while ago:
    Women and Men

    We’re pretty much invincible. Think about it.

What do men have to worry about? Well, let’s list some things:

  • finding the right hole and sticking it in
  • making sure the pee goes IN the toilet not AROUND it
  • an enlarged prostate
  • the impending prostate exam in their middle aged years
  • NOT getting a beer belly (some fail at this, even)
  • finding a nice fitting shirt, emphasis on the nice fitting, that shows off the hard work they put in 2-3x a week at the gym (or the progress made by their couch potato/video game endeavors on the weekends, weekdays if they’re unemployed)
  • again, finding a nice pair of well-fitted pants that shows off their butt. Note to the men: having a nice round butt is nothing to be embarassed about, women (at least I can say this for myself) love the nice butts.
  • I mean, these days, you could still argue that there’s an expectation to be the breadwinners of the family, but emphasis on the could. I’m glad to say women are now also capable of being the breadwinners of the family, and *gasp* men can now be the ones who stay at home and take care of the kids!
  • having a car, or at least a working knowledge of transit (I drive everywhere so I suck at knowing what bus to take to where). It doesn’t have to be a nice car, just one that takes you from point A to B, and preferably doesn’t leave oil trails/clouds of smoke on the way.
  • knowing the difference between a pad and a tampon, if you’ve been in a long-term relationship or a husband, I’m sure you’ve been sent out to fetch these things ;). Note: to those who haven’t, there’s a BIG difference okay haha.
  • opening their mouth and saying “hi”, and hopefully not being creepy at the same time, when trying to pick up a girl. (I can write a whole blog about the politics of dating, but that can be saved for another day.)
  • ….not being creepy. Strangely enough, some men have a hard time doing this.
  • having a job
  • putting on deodorant, or the least, not smelling unpleasant
  • having boys that can swim (I’m not being insensitive towards the men who have trouble with this. Fertility is a big responsibility, but women could also have problems with this.)

I can’t think of anything else at the moment, feel free to argue with me about these things. I always enjoy a good hearted debate.

Again, I’m not a radical feminist. I just thought this was an interesting topic. I enjoy the presence of men, the nerdy good looking types are my fav, apparently hipster too (just joking babe, haha).

Relative to women, men have it WAY easier. Let’s get into the dating business another day ;).

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