Self Expression Magazine

Why Your Ex is Your Ex.

By Melgrace5 @helgrace5

Admit it, more than a few of you have dabbled with the idea of getting back together with that ex of yours. You think, “maybe the time we spent away from each other made him/her realize that we’re meant to be.” Or, “I’ve been dating since we broke up and nothing seems to work out, maybe it’s because he/she’s the one?”

Probably not. The catalyst that even suggests the idea in your head is likely the comfort of familiarity. Sure, you and your ex spent a lot of great moments together, shared some horrible fights, and you were each others’ best friend. I’ve been there, I understand, but they are your ex for a reason. It didn’t work out for a reason. Of course there are some couples who get back together and end up happily ever after. But those are rare, like heels that don’t hurt after a few minutes rare. But most often, people do the whole exhausting tango of getting back together, break up, getting back together, breaking up, and so on. It’s not worth it, and it’s a waste of both of your time.

I know the idea of a new relationship and starting over is a scary thought. You have to get to know each other from scratch, get to know each others’ friends and family (worry about whether they’ll like you or not), and get to that comfort level of farting in front of each other (which I do not suggest, unless it happens by accident. In which case, you can try to blame it on the leather couch I hope you’re sitting on.) But maybe you’re just lucky enough to be dating a weirdo who thinks it’s cute when their significant other farts. But I’m a nurse, so farts are the least of my worries when it comes to odours. I don’t think it’s cute, but it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s naturale. Enough about farts, though.

Investing your time in a brand new relationship makes a lot more sense than trying to invest more time in a relationship that already didn’t work. You don’t ever want to get into a place in a relationship where the only thing holding you together is the fact that you’ve already spent so much time together. It makes sense but it doesn’t. Especially if he or she cheated on you, move on. Cheaters will always be cheaters in my opinion. Trust is such a vital component of a relationship. You need to be with someone who you can trust to go out to bars, get drunk, and come home to you without a sense of guilt attached. You deserve someone who loves you and only you. Unless you’re into polyamory. That’s cool if it’s mutual. Personally, it’s not for me. I’m a one man type of woman.

Don’t let the fear of the unknown make you fall back into your old ways. Familiarity is great and so comforting. But your old relationship did not work out for a reason. You may have wanted different things, were in different places in your life, so move on. Those things are not going to change. Sometimes they do, but often they don’t. The other person may make you think otherwise because they also want familiarity back, but it’s likely not going to work out in the long run.

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