Self Expression Magazine

Modern Day Romance

By Melgrace5 @helgrace5

I've been neglecting this blog for quite a while. Why? Because I've been lazy and my netbook sucks.

But I thought I'd revisit this short-lived hobby of mine, it's the new year after all. Also, I don't want to degrade into an illiterate mess, my grammar is already questionable. I'm also currently addicted to the band HAIM, they're amazing.

Enough distractions! So romance?

Sometimes I wish I was born back then, when romance was easy and effort was tangible. Tangible in the means of little love notes or stupid little trinkets. In this modern age, full of electronics and distractions, I feel that romance is so easily neglected. Is it so impossible to expect a little more than the norm nowadays? These days, I feel like people show more interest in looking things up on the internet or staring at their iPhones to notice that their significant other has just become the other. People forget that relationships take effort, a lot of it. Just because you've passed the initial reeling-in part doesn't excuse you from the constant effort to keep the person interested. I read this article from The Province, Now I am not in a sexless relationship, but I feel that what this article features is what most relationships end up being, a platonic non-intimate companionship. Personally, sex is extremely important. It's the difference between a platonic and romantic relationship. Call me naive, but I can't see myself being in a "romantic" relationship with barely enough sex. This is one of the reasons why marriage scares me. It's not the commitment part, it's the lack-of-intimacy part I fear. You always hear about these long-term couples who never have sex anymore, and both think it's okay. It's so odd to me. If you're attracted to someone and love them, shouldn't you want to be intimate with them? I feel like one or the other, or both, is missing if you don't. Especially if there aren't any kids involved, what's the excuse? If there is a want, for anything, there will always be time. If there's time for you to play Angry Birds on your iPhone or to surf Facebook and you're in a non-intimate relationship, maybe you should allocate some of that time to be intimate. Or just end it if that's what the relationship is heading towards anyways. I'm a hypocrite for saying that because I've been through that situation before. But to each persons priorities I guess. Just know that your significant other will not stay significant if you don't put in the constant effort.

Now I am more than aware that romance isn't completely non-existent, they exist, as per my social media "friends." I am a devoted individual, to both my friends, family, and significant other, but I need passion. Not fictional The Notebook passion, realistic passion. I want to feel needed and missed. Grab me and hug me so tight I can't breathe. Kiss me just because you feel like it, not because you feel you need to or I've asked you. I've felt it before. I know it exists outside of Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling's on and off-screen chemistry.

A friend told me once that love should be easy, a rather naive man I should add. I feel like if it is, it's superficial. Love is inherently complicated. It's an abstract concept as it is, no definition. It's different for every person. Some fall fast, some slow, some never. How can an abstract concept be easy? How long is too long for someone to wait for their significant other to say those 3 words? I have no idea. I struggle with it sometimes because I don't know. But I find comfort in not knowing the timeline. Is it enough for someone to act it but not say it? Personally, I say no. Actions mean more than words, but if you feel it, why not say it? If the other person is being honest about their feelings, verbally and physically, it's only fair for the other person to do the same. Otherwise I feel like it's not the right relationship to be in. Sometimes I wish I would have made this blog anonymous so I could be more candid about what I want to write, but no use looking back, I guess. (Also, I just wrote right instead of write back there, holy crap I need to blog more). I sometimes dabble deleting all of my social media accounts to see if I can feel better about certain things, but we'll see.

If you want to give me some advice, please do. I'm always open for what my readers have to say.

I'm sure I've mentioned a lot of the things I just wrote about, but nothing much has changed. We're still in the digital age of romance, or lack thereof.

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