Community Magazine

With Friends Like These...

By Rubytuesday
I've always been someone who has a good circle of friends around meIn school And in work But as addiction and anorexia took hold of me I began to lose friends And of course These illness are all consuming So maintaining friendships was not high on my priority Then I moved here ten years ago So there was an opportunity to leave my old life behind And start afresh with a clean slateI started going to meetings and support groups And formed a nice little circle of friends But As I struggled over the yearsA lot of friends have come and gone I guess that's the nature of the beastIn the last few years I've tried a lot of different support groups And I've found that the lunch time AA meetings are the ones I get the most from I have good friends there Yes, they are a lot older than meBut I think I get on with older people for some reasonBy the way When I was at the meeting on Tuesday My 'friend' was there again And again She announced to the room how I had filled out And then asked me for the name of the diet I am on People I despair 
Anyway Back to friends I always felt like I didn't fit in with the young crowd that go to NA meetings To the point that I have felt excluded and ignored So I stopped going to those I stopped trying to get people to like Stopped breaking my back to try and fit in and be liked and become involved I don't know why these people didn't accept meFor a long time it really bothered me I'd see on Facebook how the all went out Or were at a party or whatever But you know what?I've stopped caring Caring what others think of me Whether they like me or not Whether I am good enough to be part of their gang I had enough of that in high school I'm not even about to get involved in that kind of shit So Since then I've adopted the attitude that I'm not going set myself on fire to keep someone else warm I'm not going to be a doormat in exchange for some sort of friendship I now know that I am a good person A loyal friend And I have a lot of love to give If you don't want to be my friend that is perfectly fineI won't take it personally I know it's not possible for everyone to like everyone And that is ok 
The reason I am writing about the topic of friends Is that I was talking about bit yesterday with someone who I now consider a good friend And that is Fintan from horse riding I travel with Fintan every Wednesday morning out to horse riding We stop on the way And get a bag of carrots for the horses And we have a great ol' chat in the car So I've gotten to know my new friend quite well We have a lot in common And talk about a wide variety of topics Fintan is interesting and interested Which I always think is a good combination He was saying yesterday How lovely it's been to make new friends through riding And I agree I've met a few new friends through ridingReal, genuine, sound and salt of the earth people These are people who are all struggling with some kind of afflictionAs I am Some have MSSome have other physical conditions And they are some of nicest and kindest people I have ever met Now I know what true friendship looks like It's being there for someone It's keeping in touch Helping them out if needed It's also having someone to talk to Someone to laugh and cry withSome one to face the ups and downs of life with I've also made friends at work Which is so great The people at work are so lovely I've been so lucky really 
Finding dnew friends has also high lighted how some of the people are not so much friends More users One person in particular Who basically blows hot and cold Rarely answers my texts and calls And when I do see her It's all about her I can now see that I deserve better than that Everyone doesSo From now on I'm going to concentrate on cultivating the good friendships that I do haveIt's about quality Not quantity 
With all that said I was wondering about you Do you have many friends in real life?What do you think makes a good friend?So you believe in quality over quantity?Have you ever been messed around by a so called friend?What did you do about it if anything?Inquiring minds want to know.....

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