Why Movies Have Made Me Terrified of Lakes

Day 3 of Halloween Week!

Are your teeth sore yet?

Vote for your favorite Halloween Creature HERE to help me decide what to be for Halloween.  As you can see, today I am one of the scariest of all the Halloween creatures…

WEREWOLF!

You can tell I’m a werewolf by my curved fingernails, fused together eyebrows and crazy eyes!  And the fact that I’m utterly terrifying.

You know what werewolves remind me of? Lakes.

Which is a not at all awkward and horribly placed segway into:

Why Movies Have Made Me Terrified of Lakes:

A Tale Told in Pictures

I have never been one for the outdoors.  I would blame growing up in Brooklyn, but I’m not juvenile.  I know that there’s something more to blame MOVIES. They make me question why anybody would go to a lake for relaxation when you’re clearly going to be eaten alive.

Actually, why anybody would go to any b any type of body of water at all-

oceans,

swimming pools,

and, of course, showers

Oh, baths, too

But absolutely nothing good ever happens at a lake.

They’re apparently a hotbed of paranormal activity,

mutant lake creatures

and flesh eating viruses

Axed murderers looove to hang out around lake houses

Even Sandra Freakin Bullock had a time traveling mailbox which, while not utterly terrifying, is really weird.

Why anybody would go to a lake is beyond me. Any place where your face can get chewed off by microscopic bacteria, encounter a mutant repltilian creature or an axweilding maniac with mommy issues  and you run the risk of ending up in a relationship with Keanu Reeves OR Sandra Bullock just doesn’t seem worth it.

Am I wrong?