Dating Magazine

Who Else Wants To Read A Cheaters Mind?

By Kim Jol
Note: This is a Guest Post from Brian who's a married man who gives relationship advice on Ex Back 101. He thinks he is a legit person to give advice because he has been screwed many time and also has been on the verge of divorce for 13 times. And in his spare time, he writes about his daily experiences with his wife. Also, did I say that he is consulting for free? At some point, we all have faced this. We want to trust our partner, but we simply couldn't, because of their actions. It’s either their body language, or the style in which they are talking. We tend to think that they are probably cheating us.
You think that your partner is cheating you? Their body language can cue you in on whether they are being honest or deceitful. These signs will indicate if your relationship is in trouble.

They Take Time To Respond

You ask a simple yes or no question, but they take time to respond to that. Also, instead of responding with just yes or no, they use fillers such as um, huh, ah etc. This delay is because their brain takes time to manipulate the original answer and then deliver a new fabricated answer, which is not 100% correct. 

They avoid eye contact and blink more than normal

This is the best way to identify whether they are lying or not. They will blink more than normal because they are experiencing anxiety while lying. Also, they will reduce or avoid making eye contact. Recent studies have shown that humans will naturally break eye contact to help them focus and remember. And this is the reason why they are decreasing their eye contact time. Watch out for this and it will be wise to ask them if they are lying or not. Or simply ask them to tell the truth. And if they are wise enough, they will probably tell the truth or else they will again try to break eye contact and make up more stories about it. 

They become overly informative

Liars tend to provide too much information about their lie to make themselves believe about their own story. They think that they need more information to hold the lie and so it looks like a foundations of a building. You should be able to detect this because you have already done this earlier with your parents, didn't you? This is the most basic thing in detecting a lie.

They show signs of relief when you appear to believe their lie

This will require a bit of practice, but this should be enough to catch your partners lie. For this to take effect, you have to act as if you have more information that you think you have. Force them to ask questions, and when they find out that you had less information than what they thought, they will have a sign of relief on their face. Also, this sign of relief will show an effect on their body. It will become loose and less rigid. This is a sure fire way of detecting if someone is lying or not.

They Fidget

Fidgeting is the result of nervous energy produced by fear. In your case, it is the fear of being found out. Remember when you used to fidget with your bag while lying to your teacher in school? It’s the same thing here. Fidgeting releases a deceptive nervous energy and so, the person keeps fidgeting with random things around them. They will touch their nose, or scratch behind their ears. This type of fidgeting is due to the increase of blood flow and the sensory elements of deception. They swallow and clear their throat more often than normal If the person is clearing their throat or swallowing before answering your every question. Then this can be a sign that they are probably going to lie. This normally happens because they are experiencing physical discomfort and the release of adrenaline in their brain/body. When adrenaline is released, blood flow is increased along with the production of saliva. This results in increased swallowing. And if the production of adrenaline is continued, then the production of saliva stops, which results in a dry throat. And so the throat clearing behavior increases and the lies will probably continue coming to you. 

They Shrug

Many good liars tend to rehearse their verbal lies, but not their gestures. So when someone’s words, don’t match their body language and their facial expression, you know that you are not getting the whole story.

Which Signs Will Not Work Against Good Liars


There are many good liars than you think there are (read the sentence again). And if you are in a continuous confusion with your relationship, chances are that you've probably already met a good liar. Some of the signs above will not work against them because they might have already perfected them in them are: a. Showing signs of relief after you believe their lies. b. Fidgeting. c. Eye Contact.

So how should you catch a Good Liars lie?

Just follow your gut feeling and ask them whether they are lying or not. This is the best thing you can do because if they are not serious in the relationship, they will probably not tell you the whole story. So even after listening to their whole story, you feel unsatisfied. Tell them that you are not satisfied with their explanation. The only thing you have to remember is not to become like them. If you stay honest in your relationship, chances are, they too will start saying the truth. 
And in the future, they might tell you all the true stories of all the lies they told you.

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