While They’re Still Here: A Memoir by Patricia Williams
Published by She Writes Press on November 7, 2017
Genres: Memoir, Parenting
Pages: 329
Format: Paperback
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After a lifetime of strained bonds with her aging parents, Patricia Williams finds herself in the unexpected position of being their caregiver and neighbor. As they all begin to navigate this murky battleground, the long-buried issues that have divided their family for decades–alcoholism, infidelity, opposing politics–rear up and demand to be addressed head-on. Williams answers the call of duty with trepidation at first, confronting the lines between service and servant, guardian and warden, while her parents alternately resist her help and wear her out. But by facing each new struggle with determination, grace, and courage, they ultimately emerge into a dynamic of greater transparency, mutual support, and teachable moments for all. Honest and humorous, graceful and grumbling, While They’re Still Here is a poignant story about a family that waves the white flag and begins to heal old wounds as they guide each other through the most vulnerable chapter of their lives.
I received this book as part of a BookSparks Memoir Book Tour last year. I thought I had posted my review before sending the book to my mother to read, but as I was cleaning up paperwork this weekend, I saw I never posted my review. Then, when my mother read the book, she sent me her review, and apparently I never posted that either. Since my mom’s was already typed up, I thought I’d just hit “post” and share about While They’re Still Here by Patricia Williams with all of you.
A couple of things about me that you may or may not know: I moved from a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio to Sarasota County, Florida in 2000. In this story, the parents moved from a distant suburb of Cleveland – namely, Elyria. The parents then moved to a Sarasota County, Florida residence – namely, the City of Englewood. I currently live in Sarasota County myself. Kind of coincidental there, huh?
Back to the book at hand….. I received a box full of memoirs and was talking to my mother on the phone as I opened the box. As I read the titles, she had me read the back of the book to her to see if there were any she might be interested in reading and reviewing for us. She chose today’s book, While They’re Still Here by Patricia Williams. This is what Gloria reported:
“When I chose this book I wanted to learn how to deal with aging parents as my husband and I are the aging parents of 2 adult children. This is an excellent source of information for the adult child who will become the caregiver.
This story begins with Trish Williams arriving at her elderly parent’s home in Englewood, Florida from her home of twenty years living with her partner Katy Murray in in Olympia, Washington. Her parents had moved to Englewood, Florida from their hometown of Elyria, Ohio fourteen years ago leaving behind all their relatives and friends. Her mother and father had visited her in Olympia, Washington several times over the years.
Taking care of aging parents is not easy. Trish Williams shares her journey of being responsible for their welfare and learning to respect her parent’s intelligence and independence while taking her of her own health and life. She is one of 3 children. She has an older sister Linda and a younger brother Chip.
Following Trish’s difficult journey as her caregiving tasks begins to mount you learn about their strain emotions, the intimate moments, the roller coaster ride of their health issues, the family history, family secrets, the mother’s drinking habits, the father’s seizures and visual problems, the family pets and who to care for them and how to make the best of the time she had left to be with them.
Patricia Williams has done an excellent job of taking care of her parents for 10 years, taking notes and writing them down. The notes then became this story. You can clearly see the love that Trish had for her parents and you will fall in love with them also. This is a must read.”
After retiring from a long and fulfilling career as a dental hygienist, Trish Williams provided full-time care for both of her aging and ailing parents for ten years. During that decade, her parents faced the challenges of aging with such extraordinary strength and courage, that she began to jot down notes on their lives. The notes grew into stories, and the stories into her poignant memoir, While They’re Still Here.
Her book is an honest and humorous revelation of the clashing and healing between a Baby Boomer and her Greatest Generation parents, as the roles of parent and child shift with aging. Interlaced with revelations of her parents’ pasts, she faces the struggles and rewards of caregiving with grace and grumbling, as the family learns to accept each other for who they were and who they became.
Trish lives in Olympia, Washington with her spouse, Katy Murray. She’d love to hear from you and can be reached through her author website: www.patriciawilliamsbook.com.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publishers and BookSparks in exchange for this post, which is my honest review and unbiased opinion.
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