Dear Diary, yesterday's 15 mile run SUCKED.
So, here's the thing. I've been moving along with my training for the TransRockies Run, feeling pretty strong, getting it done.
I should have known the day would come. It always does. It's the day that strips you of confidence and motivation. Where just like that your running is in the toilet. You are surprised and shocked. Maybe you cry and have a tantrum. You wonder - why do I even do this? That wasn't fun. It didn't make me feel good.
Then, if you are like me, you try to come up with a million reasons your run sucked. You are grasping at straws because there is no way it was just a bad run. There has to be a cause, a source.
I'm dehydrated
I drank too much last night
It's too hot
It's too cold
I'm constipated
I have diarrhea
I'm stressed
I'm over-trained
I'm under-trained
My shorts are chafing
I have a hairball I need to cough up
Whatever you think is the cause, it's probably not. Just as we have amazing runs and we are not sure why we felt so good and strong, we have horrible runs and don't know why we felt so crappy and weak. It is just what happens.
About yesterday's run: Well, I wanted to do the 15 miles on somewhat tired legs to prepare for my future. So, on Saturday I did a hard trail run of about 7 miles (see how I'm rationalizing why I crashed and burned?). Sunday, my friend Sylvie and I went up to Magnolia Road. If you live n Boulder and are a runner, you know "Mags". It is a 15 mile (7.5 out and 7.5 back) with about 1,600 feet of vertical gain. It has been the training spot for many Olympians and cross country teams. Looks something like this:
You could call it pleasantly rolling hills, but I call it an asshole. Or, at least I did yesterday.
The run started okay enough. By mile two or so I was sucking air and my legs felt pretty dead. Sylvie, on the other hand, was dashing up hills. It was gorgeous scenery and it was fun being out there with her, but I could feel my mental and physical energy getting zapped.
I had those thoughts of: why do I think I can do this? Why do I feel so out of shape? Shit, I have the Leadville Marathon next weekend. I should probably drop out. All of this to say, that by the end I was doing the walk of shame to the car. Sylvie reminded me that this is what it is all about, pushing ourselves so that we can have successes even when it doesn't feel like it. That we do this to know we can do hard things.
Speaking of hard things (TWSS):
Saturday I will be doing this race:
It's a doozy. The winner in my old lady division (40-49) did it in 5 hours last year. I will be very lucky to come in around 6 hours.
I will certainly have moments (probably at mile 12 I will cry), but I'll just have to put one foot in front of the other. Relentless forward motion (RFM).
Remember: One ultra sucky day of running does not define you as a runner or as a person. RFM.
When was your last really bad run/race?
SUAR
