Athletics Magazine

When Life Throws You Curve Balls and Off to Paris!

By Brisdon @shutuprun
Life throws curve balls. I've gotten kind of used to it. There is truth in the fact that the things you worry about rarely happen, but other random shit that never occurred to you comes out of the woodwork. C'est la vie.
Did I tell you we leave for Paris in the morning? Paris Marathon is on Sunday.
When Life Throws You Curve Balls and Off to Paris!
In a sec I'll get into those curve balls that got thrown at my face, but first...there are firsts for me with this marathon:
  • Largest marathon I've ever run. 57,000 people.
  • Aid stations every 5k (3.1 miles). Longest distance between aid stations I've ever had in a marathon (that's not on trails). Carry water? Gonna be 73 degrees!
  • A doctor's note is required to run the race. First time I've ever had to have my doctor sign off that I am healthy enough to do this.
  • Aid stations have sugar cubes (maybe in lieu of gels?). First time for that - PS and BTW: I'm not a horse or a cup of hot tea.
  • Porta potties are apparently quite scarce. This could be the first time I squat on a marathon course.
Now curve balls.
Curve ball #1: In case you are really young and don't know, when you turn 50, you're supposed to have a colonoscopy. That's when you prep by cleaning out your system until you basically poop water (but don't drink it), then you are sedated, then they stick a scope up your ass to see if you are healthy. I've had one before and it was no problem, so I was not expecting any surprises when I went in for my second one last week. At the point I was going in for the procedure, I was excited to be put under sedation and to have a nice nap. Then it would just be a matter or showing them I could fart in order to go home. I'm skilled at that for sure!
Yeah, didn't go that way. I was heavily sedated, but conscious. The procedure was excruciating. So painful I was crying and probably cussing up a storm, although it seems like a dream. The reason? Apparently I have an elongated colon (also called a tortuous colon < now I know why they call it that) that has many twists and turns. They had a hard time getting the scope around all the bends in my colon, thus the pain. Here's the thing - if they were putting a scope in my ear or down my throat that would be one thing. But this area is private and I somehow felt violated...all is fine now, but what the hell? Please tell me I'm not the only one who's had this experience.
Curve ball #2: Picture this. Last Tuesday, middle of the night. Ken is in excruciating pain (<seems to be a theme with us). He was saying the pain was in his stomach. Nothing was helping. We go to the ER hoping that he doesn't get checked in then lays one huge fart and feels better. Because with a $200 copay that's an expensive fart. After hours of them trying to get the pain under control (morphine did nothing to take the edge off) and a CT scan they found he had acute appendicitis. Into surgery he goes and we go home that night. 
The surgeon wasn't too fond of him traveling, given the risk of blood clots. But, his surgery was laparoscopic and very uncomplicated. He's doing great, energy is good, so we're going. He'll wear compression and get up every hour to move around. 
As for marathon goals...well, a PR will very likely not occur (sub 3:42). At this point I am just hoping for a sub four hour, but even that is feeling a bit questionable. Just not feeling the speed right now. But magical things can happen with 57,000 people and sugar cubes, so we'll see.

When Life Throws You Curve Balls and Off to Paris!

Last long run (15 miles). 

Wish me luck!
Ever had a colonoscopy? Any pain or just a super good nap and then a fart?
Ever had your appendix out? No
What's the biggest race you've ever done? My biggest race prior to this one is the Bolder Boulder 10K
Biggest curve ball thrown at you lately?
Bon voyage!

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