Six months ago, I told myself that I would get back in shape and take a photo on my birthday with a toned body. It never happened. I got "pregnant" last January but later found out last March that I had a blighted ovum and had to undergo D & C last April. After D& C, I felt that I'm still having pregnancy symptoms carried over for the month of May. I also got oven burns twice on my arm while baking banana and zucchini bread. Now I have more stories to tell to my future grandchildren on how I got those burns. Also, I am still not over with the unnecessary hospital bill asking God why it happened. So, I guess, turning 40 is not really exciting after all. Yet, despite all those challenges that my husband and I faced for the past few months, I know the big 40 has a bigger meaning than just having aches and pains all over your body. At this age, being able to conceive is so much harder and more difficult to handle. I may never have my pre-pregnancy body back and my energy levels may not be the same as before. To give me a bit of credit, I was working out a lot before and I only realized now that I could have been a teacher in the fitness industry. Pilates would be my choice. I ended up cooking more and even eating more and more instead of being physically active. Muscles sag if you don't use it and I can't even do a full push up anymore not even one. So, it only means starting all over again every single day.
They said 40 is the new 30 and I would believe that I look younger than my age. That depends on the type of lighting being used though or maybe I'm just in denial that I'm halfway through my lifespan here on earth. I actually became lazy doing workouts and just prefer to read a book or take a nap after putting my little one to sleep. The thought of working out came to mind but I keep putting it off for tomorrow. In other words, I procrastinate. I have a lot of reasons not to do it. As a stay-at-home mom, I may have the luxury of time but in reality, I don't. I take care of the house and I have a small business that I need to expand which has long been overdue.
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As a late bloomer, I have to put things off for the sake of other people: taking care of my late-father and now, taking care of my son. Something's got to give, I can't be all and do all, all at the same time. I've learned to accept that there's a time for everything and that everything can't happen all at once. It taught me a great lesson the hard way when God would send a circumstance to humble me just because I'm too proud of what I've done so far.
Being 40 is always associated with mid-life crisis but wouldn't be better if we associate it with mid-life celebrations? If you're in your 20's and you're still figuring out what to do with your life because you feel you're going nowhere and haven't really accomplish anything, then you're on the right tract. You're still young so don't worry about it. If you're almost 30 and you dread saying goodbye to 29 because it's either you're worried you won't get married at all or your resume is not impressive enough to get you a job, don't worry about it also because God knows and He has a better plan for you. If you're almost 40 and you fear and felt that you haven't done significant with your life or you had another setback, congratulations, you just made it.
So, yesterday morning, I woke up sneezing and sniffing that lasted until afternoon. I also have to make granolas. Thank you to God's Grace Farm. I am thankful that God has kept me busy during the day but I was really tired even after putting Nate to sleep. By the time Nate is asleep, I'm no longer sleepy so I started writing asking God if I could extend my birthday (because time flew so fast that I wasn't able to enjoy it) by not doing anything except to be taken care of, to scribble on my journal about my dream café and food boutique and to have one on one undivided date with my husband. It was simple but I have to remember what the last 40 years have been most especially on what God has done for me.
Since I have to say to goodbye for being 39, hitting 40 doesn't mean that I've achieved everything already. Honestly, I am still figuring out what I really want to do with my life. We have dreams and desires we want to achieve and sometimes we have to put them on hold because there are more important things we need to attend to first. Being the late bloomer and always the second best, I felt that my work has never been recognized or complimented that much. I don't promote myself or advertise my work as much as people do. Yet I remember the video that my sister sent me. It's not important for other people to know what you have done because God knows what you have done and that's the most important thing.
Nevertheless, 40 is a great number. No need to hide because everyone will get to that number somehow. I have to be proud of it and embrace it. Women shouldn't be afraid to say how old they are nor be ashamed of the things they haven't accomplished. It only means that we are getting wiser every single day because of the experiences we've been going through. It also means that we are getting closer and closer to the day that we will meet the Lord. Not there but almost there.
Here's a few thoughts to ponder from Faith Street:
Life begins at 40 because' you've traveled just enough to know what your life is, what it has been and what you want it to be on down the line. Sure, some people know that earlier, and over the years I've looked with envy at those who seemed to know it sooner than me. But for the rest of us, 40 is a nice round number.
Still worried about your age? I hope not because life indeed begins at 40. Celebrate it.
