Athletics Magazine

When I Grow Up I’m Going to Be Laid Back (and Run the 100 Meter Dash)

By Brisdon @shutuprun

You know how occasionally you have one of those long runs where everything falls into place? No muscles, tendons or bones hurt. Your turnover is swift, steady and light. Your heart rate stays mellow. There is no wind, no rain, no snow. Your intestines and colon behave, keeping everything intact.

Well, I am glad you have those runs because I do NOT, especially not today. Let’s start out with the good:


This was at mile 12 of 16. I had to stop and snap a picture because I have never seen this lake this calm. I loved how the mountains were reflected in the water. If you live in Longmont, you know exactly where this is! Indeed, we are lucky.

The other “good” was that my body felt damn excellent. No aches or pains. I had a decent amount of energy. That’s it for the good – although that is pretty good.

So, what happened? Mile one of 16 my stomach started to hurt. Not a good sign. That’s where you know you’re in for a few hours of hell. 

I want all the men reading (5 of you maybe including my dad and husband) to know that I am about to start my period (men love period talk) and I swear my body breaks down and does weird things (anyone else get upset stomach that time of the month? Keith, Ken, Tom?). Also, I did not follow my own rules and had black bean/pork chili for dinner last night. WWIT??? (What Was I Thinking??)

Mile 3: I knew something was brewing.

Mile 7: I jumped under a bridge and I was not playing hide and go seek or trying to be the troll in Billy Goat’s Gruff

Mile 9: I jumped into a ditch just off the side of the road. Was very glad I did not get arrested for indecent exposure.

Mile 11: I scraped my nose and I’m not sure how. I don’t remember getting into a bar room brawl on this run.IMAG1337

Look Ma! No boogers.

Mile 15.5: I ran by my house because I was short on mileage (DOH!!) and saw police cars. The house two doors down had been robbed. I know I didn’t rob the house because I wasn’t home. But, CRAP I hate it when stuff like this happens nearby.  Why can’t everyone just behave?

Mile 16: and I’m done. I notice chafing from my heart rate strap.  And, a couple of moles I might need to get checked.


Okay, so I am being dramatic. This run was exactly what I needed – a test in learning to take what comes and to handle it. To not get all bent out of shape because things don’t go exactly the way my little brain orchestrated them to go.  Every single run is an adventure. That is the beauty of it – the variety, the surprises.

Lately, I have been doing my best to follow this guy’s advice and to be more laid back and accepting of the adventures, imperfections and detours life throws at you (Ken, I know you are hoping I can really do this so I stop driving you crazy).  There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this great article “12 Practical Steps for Learning to Go with the Flow.” The most helpful thing for me to do is exactly this:

“Realize that you can’t control everything. We don’t control the universe, and yet we seem to wish we could.  First step is realizing that things will happen. Not might happen, but will. There are things that we cannot control that will affect every aspect of our lives, and we must must must accept that, or we will constantly be frustrated.”

And now, to get your weekend off to the perfect start – this morning on the Today Show I saw a video of two men – one 95 years old, and one 94 years old competing in the 100 meter dash and it MADE MY MORNING. Sure it’s cool to be 25 and run a sub three hour marathon…but, to be 90 and sprint for a 100 meters? Now that’s ballsy, incredible and BUCKET LIST MATERIAL.

Tell me one thing on your bucket list. So many! Meet my grandchildren. Run a marathon in another country. Go to Africa on a safari. Visit India. Run a 100 meter dash when I’m 96.

Are you go- with- the- flow or uptight? I don’t need to answer that.


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