What to Say at the Doctor’s Office

Healthcare reform Last week on Grey’s Anatomy (no spoiler) former Scrubs star Sarah Chalke guest-stars in a plot line about a mother who fights doctors because she believes that her son is sick and they don’t. This was more than an acting job, it was taken from Chalke’s real life – and lots of other people’s as well.

These days doctors have very limited time with patients and when you’re fat many doctors simply diagnose you as fat and prescribe weight loss, no matter what you came in for. I’ve been prescribed weight loss for a broken toe, separated shoulder, and strep throat. People close to me have had sudden onset back pain, and an acute knee injury blamed on weight. Getting access to appropriate, evidence-based, affordable healthcare can seem almost impossible.

One of the things that Darryl Roberts (who directed America the Beautiful, The Thin Commandments) says is that you have to become the CEO of your healthcare, and I absolutely agree. I started getting much better care when I decided that my healthcare was going to be a dialog between my healthcare providers and me, rather than thinking that I had no right to ask questions, challenge advice, or make requests.

Over the years I’ve developed some strategies that help me dealing with health care professionals, and I’ve had readers request that I make cards that they can take with them. I decided that today is the day. (I know that money may be tight so you can buy the cards or you can scroll down and find copies of them that you can print) I’ve created two cards, one to give to the doctor/healthcare provider, the other is helpful phrases for you to use. The back of each card has links to the supporting research that I use. You can buy a Doctor’s Office Survival Packet for $5.00 in the US and Canada, $7 all other places, including shipping and tax.

The doctor’s office survival packet includes:

5 doctor post cards
2 personal post cards
Official Dances With Fat “Every Body Deserves Respect” sticker

$5.00 – US and Canada (including shipping and tax & the option to send as a gift)

$7.00 – Everywhere else (includes shipping and tax & the option to send as a gift)

Some notes about the cards:

Of course feel free to re-word these into phrasing the feels comfortable for you.

Use your own discretion – you’ll need to decide if you think that the situation will best be handled by you giving the card to your provider, or discussing it with them, or both. I highly recommend calling ahead and letting a new provider know that you practice Health at Every Size and asking them if that’s something that they can respect and work with, in order to smooth the way.

The tone and timing are also things to consider. I try to have this conversation with new practitioners before they prescribe weight loss so that I’m not starting off with conflict but with discussion. With existing providers I might say something like “I feel like I’ve been having trouble getting my healthcare values across to you, I brought in this card to help us have a dialog.” or something that means that but that you would actually say.

I recommend practicing before trying this with the doctor/healthcare provider – you can practice in the mirror, in your car, with a friend etc. Practice can help you stay calm and get the healthcare that you deserve.

The doctor card says “I practice Health at Every Size…” because this is what I have found to be the most effective phrasing when working with healthcare practitioners. It is imperfect in that some people do not consider themselves Health at Every Size practitioners. I’m absolutely open to suggestions on this.

I encourage you to actually read the research that is referenced. All research has limits, this is a start for conversations.

Don’t stop here – consider other resources you can pass along to your healthcare provider, Linda Bacon’s book is a great start and she has a great list of other resources.

If you have other phrases, research, resources etc. that you’ve found helpful working with the doctor, please feel free to leave them in the comments!

Here are the cards: