So what if it's 17 feet long?
This post has been brewing for awhile. During marathon training, I had a lot of time to myself while pounding the pavement to ponder on the really important stuff such as - "Why are there so many mini, empty bottles of Fireball along side the road?"
You know what I mean. As you put one foot in front of the other, maybe you are noticing a trend along the road or trail. Maybe the pattern of the shit you spot on the ground makes you wonder a bit about human nature and why people toss the the things they do. Clearly, alcohol bottles are to hide evidence. I know this because I've watched Cops and other similar shows that basically make me an expert in law enforcement.
Case in point. By far the two things I see the most while running are:
-Empty airplane sized bottles of liquor (Fireball being a favorite)
-Those flosser things. You know the ones - I think they are called flosser picks
I'm pretty sure these things do not go together, unless of course there is a new phenomenon that involves flossing one's teeth, then chugging Fireball like Listerine, then littering. Possible for sure. I know that is what my dentist recommends.
Less common things I've noticed on occasion.
- Condoms - used or still in the package (making love on the side of the road is romantic)
- Underwear (understandable, accidents happen in the car)
- One sock (I don't get it. Unless you're a teenage boy, then I get it)
- One shoe (there is a ballet flat that has been along side this one stretch of road for awhile)
- Change (pennies, quarters, etc)
- Bags of fast food trash (do you think people who eat fast food or more likely to litter? Someone should do a thesis on that)
- Ponytail holders (totally understandable, they just fall out sometimes)
- Vomit (very unfortunate if you're an emetophobe like me)
- Feces - human and otherwise
By far the most random thing I've ever seen while running was...
A live parakeet. I shit you not.
I live in Colorado and as far as I know, parakeets are not indigenous to this part of the world. My guess is this little guy escaped and was just having a little walk in the sunshine before he got eaten by a large hawk or mountain lion.
I have yet to find a dead human body (and I feel cheated because apparently runners are the ones who always find dead bodies), although I have found dead raccoons, cats, squirrels, deer and snakes (I prefer my snakes dead, so that's good).
Stuff on the road tells a story, people! Are you listening?
Enough about me. Tell me what the most random thing is you've found when running?
SUAR
