my flowers. By JennRene Owens
You know when you drink that last sip of that “really good” tea, or … you are at the
half-way mark of that marathon… or…
You find that you are emerging, stepping out of your shell, and you realize you just created
the most bomb-diggigity-bomb project you ever have made before?
Well, that’s what happened to me a few months ago, and then…
I fell off the wagon.
I was reading some place that what appears to be ‘failure’, really isn’t failure, it’s purposed to help you learn some sort of lesson or to help you re-evaluate and gain new knowledge.
I didn’t quite feel like a failure; but I was sick for two months and felt awfully weak. I realized that I could do nothing about it, and that when I am grumpy and not well, writing is the last thing I am usually thinking of. Well, not exactly the last… but close.
Since this storm has passed… and only a week ago, a really cool brother came to me and said:
” You are brilliant. You need to focus on releasing three projects this year, and get them done.”
I almost asked him, how do you do that!?
Well, I am trying to determine, now – which three projects are most important to release. In my next season.
I believe I have two. But I am still determining.
I have several projects in the wings; (as I often do) yet I am not currently working on even one of them. Why?
1.Well, if I am truly honest with myself, one of the reasons has to do with my eyesight.
Not that it has become worse, but I have not made the proper adjustments to work on them and get the glasses I need in order to address my deficit. Deficits are present to help us realize we need more. (Note to self. ) Not so we can become even more inactive and inattentive, as a result. So that’s my next step to my next.
2. Is my struggle with the fear of success. I can’t explain it, fully yet, I just know that I have it. I haveyet to determine how to deal with that, for sure.
3. I honestly haven’t fully committed to my lot. (Ouch! ) Now that’s hard to say.
What’s our Lot? Your lot is defined as : “the portion in life assigned by fate or Providence; one’s fate, fortune, or destiny.” And my lot requires much more discipline and sacrifice. Did you know the word Providence means: “to make provision or a thing? It also means to offer manifestation of divine care or direction.
There’s a scripture that says:“To whom much is given, much is required.” You cannot have the expectation that doing great things won’t require a great sacrifice.
When I was in South Africa, I actually met a young man named Providence. And he sort of hung out with me when I as there. He really blessed me, and desired my blessing over him, while I was visiting his church. Every time I turned around, Providence was there. And so I began to converse with him, and he told me his dreams. I blessed him and prayed with him, but I somehow felt as if he was blessing me, more than I was him. Providence never left my memory even 10 years later, I still recall his face.
Providence (the young man) was a divine symbol, or sign, of Gods divine protection and care over me. And I was spending three weeks in place that became a second home to me. Yet I made extreme sacrifices to get there. I traveled despite what people thought and believed, I managed to have enough courage to go above my bosses’ head to ask her boss for the leave, I believed I would have enough money and kept speaking that, before I went, (and I did).
I came against several obstacles, yet I believed I could, and I conquered. Time to muster up that resource, again.
