Are you constantly trying to figure out the hidden meaning behind the words? How to tell if someone is lying? or seeking to understand the message you are giving with your body?
and as an aside and because I'm just curious like that - did you LOVE the show "Lie To Me" and raise all sorts of hell when it was cancelled? Well, I will admit ~ I am that devoted "Lie To Me" fan. I did think towards the end it got to be more soapy and not as focused on the "tell" of the individuals in question. But, alas, it was cancelled.
Then, What Every BODY Is Saying by Joe Navarro with Marvin Karlins, Ph.D. is published and I'm happy again. Well, mostly. I still wish "Lie To Me" would come back on! This book was the No. 2 download on Audible.com when I discovered it, and I can certainly see why. In the Introduction we are told that the science of non-verbal communication will be married to the instinctive, common sense side of this type of conversation by the end of the book. I had worried a bit when I heard that a lot of the science behind non-verbal communication would be discussed, but I should not have stressed at all - if anything, the science of the matter made the book.
While I cannot remember if it was on Lie To Me or if I've read it somewhere before but I know that if someone I care for leans away from me rather than toward while conversing, well, then, that person is either uncomfortable, distressed or plain out doesn't like me anymore. What's the science behind that fact? Ever heard of "fight or flight?" In actuality there are three parts to human nature no matter what country you are from or language you happen to speak ~ Freeze. Flight. Fight.
I won't go into the limbic system of the brain, but how Navarro explains and recounts the systems, why each performs as it does and how non-verbal communication is expressed because of what is happening in the brain is worth the book itself! Now I understand what it means when one of the girls at the group home splay out wherever she is sitting - it's a non-verbal expression of disrespect. She is keeping her territory as large as possible and shutting me out along with any instruction I may have. I knew the sprawling out wasn't good, but now I know why.
Back to Freeze, Flight or Fight. If we are startled or scared our first instinct is to freeze. This allows blood to rush to our extremities and oxygen to be gulped thus making it easier if we have to "flight." If we do not flee but fight instead then our bodies "bow up." The example given in the book is of Muhammad Ali psyching is opponent out at the beginning of a fight - puffing up. I've seen men do this on occasion and it's always so primal to watch.
If you like to know what people around you are saying when they're not "saying" it, then I highly recommend What Every BODY Is Saying. On another side note, April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and I thoroughly appreciated Navarro's professional advice as to what are the non-verbal signs a child is being abused. He is careful to not start a panic yet he does explain how our non-verbal communication can clue someone in to a child having love and affection withheld.
Like I mentioned, I did purchase this book from Audible.com. I have made a personal goal of listening/reading to at least two+ non-fiction books a month. By the end of the year I hope to be 24 ways smarter!
Paul Costanzo is the narrator of this book. He enunciates clearly but in an almost stilted fashion. And this book is not dry reading so a bit of emotion would have been appreciated in the narrating of this book. Costanzo is easy to understand and his voice is pleasant. There is a pdf to download with What Every Body Is Saying that illustrates several expressions.
In a word: Resourceful!
Author's site | Buy the BookGenre: Non-fiction | 250 pages | ISBN 9780061438295Source: my own personal Audible account
