thelyniezian wrote:
Apart from my somewhat reactionary comment above- basically I think the problem here is we like to stick people in boxes and slap uniform labels on them. The reality is people are not so easily categorizable. Sexual behavior can occur for different reasons, sexuality is not quantized into gay/bi/straight, and not everyone has the same sex drive, as mentioned above.
And then there are the labels themselves. Terms like “homosexual” I find ambiguous- for some it refers to the sexual orientation (regardless of actual behaviour), to others (usually of the American fundamentalist variety as seen on a certain discussion board in my experience) it only implies regularly participating in same-sex acts (if these people acknowledge orientation exists, it’s not important and I can understand why- the Bible only appears to condemn the sex acts*), and in some senses it (or gay, lesbian, bi etc.) is a sort of identity.
Really heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual ought to refer orientation only – that is, what turns you on. Like this chart:
Sexual Orientation Scale
100-0: Maximum heterosexual, minimum homosexual
90-10: Maximum heterosexual, incidental homosexual
80-20: Maximum heterosexual, significant homosexual
70-30: Maximum heterosexual, strong homosexual
60-40: Maximum heterosexual, very strong strong homosexual
50-50: Maximum heterosexual, maximal homosexual
40-60: Maximum homosexual, very strong heterosexual
30-70: Maximum homosexual, strong heterosexual
20-80: Maximum homosexual, significant heterosexual
10-90: Maximum homosexual, incidental heterosexual
0-100: Maximum homosexual, minimal heterosexual
Really heterosexual ought to mean 100-0 to 80-20 at least. 60-40 to 100-0 is on the straight end of the spectrum.
Gay ought to mean 0-100 to 20-80 at least. 0-100 to 40-60 is on the gay end of the spectrum.
Bisexuals are obviously those from 60-40 to 40-60 with 50-50 being the very interesting “pure bisexuals.”
I have no idea what to do with the 30-70 and 70-30’s. The former is on the gay end of the scale, and the latter is on the straight end, but other than that, it is confusing.
I do know a woman age 26 and a girl aged 13 who score 25-75. The woman identifies as lesbian and the girl does too I think. The woman identifies as lesbian because she said she only falls in love with women and could never fall in love with a man. Men were good for sex, but after the sex was over, she pretty much wanted them to take off.
Many women who identify as bisexuals describe themselves as around 70-30.
I dated a woman once who had sex with men and women both on a regular basis. She was also into orgies, three-ways and some other weird stuff. She told me she did not identify as bisexual because she did not have romantic relationships with women. She only had sexual relationships with them. That is because she said that relationships with women are too insane and full of endless drama and chaos. She found relationships with men to be much more stable so she only got romantically involved with men.
Sexual behavior is very confusing. It often follows orientation but not completely. In AIDS literature, they refer to MSM or men who have sex with men. That’s all you can really say about a lot of them except for those who openly identify as gay of which there are many or as male bisexual of which there are indeed some.
The % of males in the 0-100 to 20-80 range who have had sex with another guy is shocking.
On the other hand, many men in the 0-100 to 30-70 range live with or are married to women and have sex with them on a regular basis.
I suppose 40-60’s to 60-40’s may indeed have sex with both sexes on a regular basis. There don’t seem to be a whole lot of these pure bi types though, and most humans tend to lean either towards the gay or straight ends of the spectrum.
I knew one guy who may have been a 60-40 or 50-50. He was one of my best friends. For a long time, he avoided sex with men apparently due to moral concerns. His attitude was, “No way am I doing that. Forget it, no way.” He was as turned on by chicks as any man who has ever lived and he had an enormous sex drive. He fucked a whole brigade of women and girls while I knew him. He screwed more chicks than most guys will in 20 lifetimes.
But at one point he did get into gay sex. Actually he was blackmailed into it and sort of forced into it. After he started having regular sex with guys and doing things like going on weekend trips with a bunch of gay guys down to Laguna Beach (probably with a lot of gay sex included) I ended the friendship. It is really hard to stay friends with a guy who is regularly screwing other guys. I don’t recommend it.
As far as Gay men do this or try to do this to straight men regularly. It’s a real problem. The gay men are typically around 27-45 years old in the cases I have heard about and the straight men were 22-24 years old. If you a single young man, especially one who is very good-looking, you may have to deal with older gay men attempting to prey on you on a regular basis.
As far as gay men tricking, conning or blackmailing straight men into having gay sex, the gay community thinks this sort of thing is hunky-dory, and they have no problems with it. If you complain about gay men seducing, tricking, recruiting, blackmailing or trying to force straight men into having gay sex with them then you’re a homophobe.
I think this is crap so I must be the biggest homophobe on Earth.
