Have you ever wondered why a man would get out of a long term relationship with the promise of marriage probably leaving the woman heartbroken and then proceed to marry the first woman he meets after her? Issues like this spark my interest, what might be the cause, is it that he loves her but not enough to marry her, or he was just using her, or it was plain chance that it didn't work out? I will not try to wrap my brain around this because I have loads of law essays needing the same brain. I would rather table it here where so we can talk about it ... Lamar Odom's story I read on Linda Ikeji's Blog today prompted me to write this post.
I as a person at this stage of my life would not be in a relationship with no apparent marital future but what the hell, no one knows tomorrow. My point is this, why do we women although we know the truth still fall for weird situations like this? Date a man for 10 years, have children with him and yet all you get are promises no marriage. I understand that our society is going through this sad phase where young people think having children out of wedlock is cool, that's going to change soon how, is a story for another day, you noticed I called it a phase...
So back to my concerns, does anyone know why this happens? It's a very sad thing I must say, 'you spend all that time, money and effort, invest yourself in a relationship and then fall flat on your behind' it seems completely unfair to me, but really is life fair? I am not trying to play the blame game; I'm not here to decipher who is at fault in such situations.
This is what if think, you know yourself better that anyone and you know what you are looking for in a relationship so, either you are a man or a woman, don't settle know what you want and go right for it.
I was talking with a girlfriend on a similar issue recently, and this is what I Said; Depending on your age, the stage you are in your life and whether you are interested in getting married, how soon etc any serious relationship you put/invest yourself in for more than a year and there are no talks or actions towards settling down/getting married might not be good for you. My advice is that you remove yourself from such a relationship. I must say this is strictly my opinion.
Reason: Men generally know if they can/would marry a lady almost as soon as they meet her. Some men may need time to get to a proper conclusion, while some just know; the ones that know usually blurt it out. Whatever the situation may be, as soon as your boyfriend meets you, he knows whether he will/can marry you or not; so if it is taking him more than a year to realize this, there are two options, either he will never marry you or he still has doubts at this point, my advice to ladies is to figure out what you want, here you are priority, if what you want is not what's available, please just leave the relationship. Again this depends on your person strictly. If you are just dating for dating sake, enjoy... but if you have marriage in mind you know just what to do...
I have to reiterate that this is my opinion; you may or may not agree! Whatever you think just put in the comment box and let's discuss...
Love,
Misslara.
