My beautiful friend and sister (we’re not blood, but that doesn’t matter) got engaged last weekend! I am sooo incredibly happy for her! I knew several weeks beforehand and it was killing me keeping the secret from her. Good thing I only saw her a few times during that time. I was around for the heartaches and the tears with the guys who didn’t deserve what she could offer. I’m glad to have been around when she met the love of her life and now, future husband! She tells me, “be with the one who loves you unconditionally”. This is her first love by the way. So for the single ladies out there who think they’ll never find the one, and why is it taking so long? Be patient. Good things take time. You never know, your first love could also be your last love. Love is risky, but you have to put in the work to get the rewards. Love and you shall be loved.
I know being loved and loving someone is scary. I’ve been through it once already. The fear that you love someone more than they love you or vice versa. The fear that you might do something to hurt the one you love. But then again, there are people who do not think this way at all. I am a romantic at heart. If I feel something, I will express it. It’s just a little harder to if the person isn’t as expressive. I am a little careful this time around, but as the cliche states,
it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
I know that is SO CHEESY. But I believe in it. It took me up until I was 19 (I am now 23) before I was able to feel what “love was”. I’m still learning, as we all are. I’m fresh into a new relationship, almost 4 months knowing each other, and almost 2 months official. And I have no problem taking it slow. Going with the flow, if you will. Prior to this, I was like “NO! I only want to be in a long-term relationship. Otherwise, what’s the point?” I mean, in a way I still think like that. I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone if I didn’t see a future. But at the same time, I have no plans for us a year from now, or two years from now. I’m just taking it day by day. I feel like if you do that, that’s when you set yourself up for heartbreak if it doesn’t work out. You’re in this mind set that, “oh, well, we’ve made these plans one or two years from now. Our troubles right now might just be a ‘phase’. I’m sure we’ll make it because we made ‘a promise’.” I’ve learned that you only know if you want to be in a long-term relationship, once you’re already in one. Two, three, four, or 20 years into it. You can’t really predict. All relationships start out great, I hope anyways. Once you hit the two year mark, and past that, I feel like that’s when you know if you’ll make it. I know my past relationship hit the rocks at the two year mark, it was just a very difficult year after that and then we decided to call it quits. It was an amicable break up, we remain friends.
I can’t push my beliefs on other people, I’m simply speaking from experience. I don’t regret much because I value the lessons I learn from the choices I make. I hope to continue this. Maybe I should actually read the book my sister-in-law gave me as a gift two Christmasses ago…
I like to think I know myself enough that I don’t need books to tell me who I am. That’s how stubborn I am. We’ll see. I’m not a reader, I’m more of a visual person. Books ruin movies for me you see (haha, a lazy person’s excuse). But I swear, I’m literate. I think?
Anyways, this week is extremely busy. A 60 hour work week, barely enough free time to see my man and engage in other social activities. But I always make time for the people that are important to me, as you all should.
-H
