Community Magazine

We Are Family

By Rubytuesday
As you may or may not know
I am the youngest of four
I have 2 older sisters
And an older brother
My parents split up when I was 19
And that was when myself and my mother moved to this current house
I won't go in to the details of what went on in my house when I was growing up
As I do't really like to write about my family here on this blog
But I will say that it was not a happy place to be
And all us kids moved out the first chance we got
2000 was a really tough year
I had just become addicted to heroin
I had moved away with my boyfriend
And then promptly moved back home when that fell apart
Being at home was horrible
My parents fought endlessly and I was caught in the middle
It all came to a head one day
And me and my mother moved out
We really had no where to go
So we booked in to a hotel
I was due to start a job in Dublin the next day
I didn't want to leave my mother alone
So I commuted the two and half journey every day
That plus a growing drug problem meant life was becoming unmanageable
My job was in the bank
I had dropped out of college so my family thought that that was a respectable job
I hated it
Every evening after work I walked to a certain part of Dublin to buy my drugs
Still in my bank uniform
Then took the drugs in the train bathroom on the way home
After a week in the hotel
My mother and I found a rented house and moved in
It wasn't far from my family home
But we had to stay in town as my mother worked there
It was very strange
But I was so pre-occupied with my addiction that it didn't really matter where I was
The next few years were a nightmare
My drug use spun out of control
My mother's father became ill and she was constantly on the road to take care of him
I lost all dignity and self respect
And became a fully fledged addict
I look back on photos of me at that time
So pale and gaunt and lost
Other members of my family were also battling addiction and our house became like a circus
People in and out all the time
Sometimes I would get myself together for a few weeks
But I always went back to the drug
Al ways
This post was supposed to be about my parents separation
To be honest I was glad that they split up
They are much better off apart
It was an acrimonious split to say the least
And for the longest time they couldn't be in the same room as each other
I wasn't really close to any of my family growing up
I spent a lot of time out side of my house and in friends houses
It wasn't until I became ill that I began to get close to my family
The first time I was admitted to hospital
My Dad drove the hour and a half journey to see me every day
He sat and read his paper
While I wrote or slept
He always brought me magazines and my favorite chocolate
I began to form a relationship with him
For the first time in my life
I also began to get close to my mother
We had a rocky relationship over the years
I think it's fair to say that she bore the brunt of my drug use
She was the closest to me
So she inevitably got hurt the most
In 2004 my mother and I moved here
My mother bought a house near the town where she grew up
By now things had improved between my parents
In a way my addiction and illness brought the family together
Even though to begin with it tore us apart
It was great to be in a new place
No one knew us
It was a fresh start
My Mother still worked in our old town so
So she stayed in my Dad's house during the week
And he came up here and stayed with me as I was so ill I needed someone around
So yes, they swapped houses
Sounds strange
But it works for them
Now 15 years after they split
My parents have quite a good relationship
We all spend Christmas and birthdays as a family
My father is welcome here any time
Things are good
It took a long time to get here
But we got here
I was wondering about you
Are your parents together/divorced/separated?
How do you feel about it?

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