Hello everyone and it's been such a long time since i posted any thing to this blog and my YouTube channel, I have been asked to make some more videos but i don't have anything that i can offer at the present moment because i don't have anything to talk about and plus i don't have the proper equipment to make proper videos like get ready with me and routines, I was hoping to come back in the new year and to start to make some more and better quality videos as i am still learning how to do some things on iMove and video editing. At the present time as christmas is just around the corner and my health has't been in the best shape for a very long time now and i am starting to feel so unwell with my depression and no one understands me what i go though with it on a day to day basis so i really have no one to talk to about it or offer me any support to me. Also i have updated my blogger , Twitter & Instagram account to a Disabled Lifestyle blogger & YouTuber because thats what i currently work as at this present time and i want to know the real person behind this blog and all the work that i have done to it.
It isn't easy for me as some people might have seen or read about me and my present life and what i have to go though on a day to day basis is very hard for me and everything that i have to do and put up with and sometimes i don't know how i keep going with it as i sometimes say to myself why do i have all these problems and with no simple cure for any of it? A few weeks ago i was starting to feel a little bit better and i was looking forward to christmas and seeing my family but once i went to this years clothes show it all went down hill for me and thats when i stated to become very ill with my depression. The experience that i had this year at the clothes show is one that i am hoping that will never ever happen again and i don't think that i will ever go again unless someone is with me because of what happened. I was pushed around and smashed into people and people just being rude to me and saying nasty comments to me and i just wanted to leave and as i know suffer with lower back & spinal pain my back was on it's way out and i couldn't walk any more, I try and do some exercise when i am out and about but my back pain is the problem and this is why i never go out.
I have made a full complaint to the NEC and explained to what happened to me and they need to provide more help and support for disabled people with physical disabilities and walking issues. I was absolutely shocked when i arrived at the NEC that there was no information regarding disabled facilities for the public. Apart from that day i will not go to any places like that again unless someone is with my like a family member or a friend because it is to much for me and i cannot cope with the people and the long lines. I am currently gonna be off YouTube for a while at the moment because as i have explained that i am really unwell with my depression that sometimes when i am like this i just want to relax and spend time on my own in bed, This also can land me over 4 weeks housebound and i just need time to adjust and get everything back to normal and when it hits you you know about it.
I am doing OKish at the moment as people has been asking me and i am just going though so much and also i have to go back to the opticians once again and get my contacts sorted once again as my eye site has changed once again and i have had them tested a few months ago, I ordered some new lenses from the same place that i ordered my first pack from and everything was perfect and i could see though them and i had everything correct. I get some new ones and i find that the left one is kinda blurry and i cannot see out of it at all and the right one seems fine, I think that i might need a new updated eye test done and also a contact lenses check but saying that my glasses are fine and i can see perfect though them. And this does put a lot of stress on to me as i am unable to see to do most things and with a limited amount of money and paying my bills its gonna be massively hard for me and i don't know how i am gonna cope. I have never ever been to hospital for my depression but i think that in the next couple of weeks i might need to go and get some much needed rest! Also my family doesn't really do anything for me and they just moan at me all the time and demanding this and that all the time and this is started to make me stressed all the time.
I understand that it isn't nice when you have to pay bills and you want to treat yourself to something but with me it's never the same i pay my bills and then i don't have a lot left to go out and treat myself and this is becoming to p*** me off big time as the money is entitled to me and i hardly ever see it.I want to be able to get something nice for myself and be proud of what i have bought but i never ever get the things that i want because people are always demanding this and that from me and i was gonna save up for my other Mulberry bag but i don't think that it would be possible because of what people are doing to me.
I will be back on making YouTube videos as soon as i can and also when everything is back to normal for me, I just want say thank you for all your support thought 2015 and the start of this blog also, I cannot believe that this blog will be one year old in 2016 and thats so amazing, In the last 8 years since being on YouTube and blogger i have the chance to meet so many people and have had some exciting things happening to me and also people sending me free products to review and its's so amazing. Without you guys around the world who watches me or comes to this blog it wouldn't be possible. I just wanna say a massive thank you from the bottom of my heart and everything that you have ever done for me and it was a dream of mine to have my own official iPhone app and this year my dream finally came true.
I wish all my readers a Happy Christmas & Happy New Year and all the best for 2016.
Rianna
