U is for Undeterred!

I was having trouble coming up with a word for the letter UI was going to do underweight But after what happened yesterdayIt could only be one word Undeterred
Rewind to ThursdayI got it in to my head That I wanted to do more riding And check out the stables in my areaI got a couple of numbers But got no answer So I decided to call in to an equestrian center that's about 20 minutes from my house I'd been to this center before A few years ago when I did a beach trek with my sisters So I knew where it was My Dad and I set off We drove in to the yard And we were greeted by a woman called Rachael who runs the placeI asked her about the possibility of lessons She said they don't do adult lessonsAs they don't have the demand for them But she did say I could book a private lessonCosting €35 for half an hourAnd €45 for an hour So I decided to book a half hour lesson for yesterday Half an hour doesn't sound like a lotBut when you are riding with no break It's exhausting The lady asked me about my experienceI said I could trot and canter I'm now thinking after what happened I shouldn't have said I could canterAs I've only really done it once 
Anyway Sunday came And I spent all day looking forward to my 4pm lesson The time finally came And my Mum and I set offFirst I had to get fitted for boots and a hat The lady said to me that I had skinny legsAnd gave me a pair of children's bootsHa!My ED loved that one!So I got myself kitted out And then went around to the stablesRachael introduced me to my horse called SonnyAnd OMG!He was huge!Much larger than StarWe went in to the in door arena Where I held Sonny until my teacher came She came like a ball of energySusan was her name Something I've noticed Is that horse people are hardy Very hardy The second thing I noticed about Susan Was that she had two facial piercings the same as me Straight away She had me get up on Sonny And straight in to a trotThere was no messing around with this girl The first thing I noticed about SonnyWas that he was much faster than StarAn awful lot faster But it felt amazing!Soon she asked me to go in to a canter From a trot You sit in to the saddle And kick and squeeze with your legs I grabbed the safety strapAnd kicked on What happened next happened so fast I can barely remember what happenedSonny shit off like a bullet And completely took me by surprise by how fast he was going As he turned the cornerI could feel myself losing controlAnd began to slip off the side of the saddleMy feet came out of the stirrups So I had nothing holding me on I was bouncing around on Sonny like nobodies businessAnd the the next thingI tumbled off And fell in a heap at the side of the trackThe first thing I thought was Sonny was going to go over me And I instinctively curled up to protect myself I don't know where Sonny wentBut he didn't run over The thing was I could feel myself falling But even though it seemed to happen in slow motion at the time I still got a huge shockI got up straight awaySusan asked what if I was okAnd if I was hurtI didn't think I was Nothing was broken anyway I asked her for a minute to catch my breath She said okBut to get back up on the horse first I tried to mount SonnyBut I was shaking so much I couldn't get a grip to pull myself up Second time I managed And I just sat there for a moment Susan said it was important to get straight back up on the horse As the longer I left itThe harder it would be Soon I was ready to go againAnd we began to walk around the arenaSlowly at firstThen trotting Then Susan asked if I felt ok to canter againI must admit I was afraid But I really wanted to try again I didn't want my fear to get the better of meSo I tried againStraight awaySusan stopped meAnd said she knew why I fellIt was my feet In riding You are supposed to push your heals down and toes up to anchor yourself But i was riding with my toes down and heels upSo I was totally unbalancedAfter she discovered the problem I was able to correct it Although I found it hardI felt like I was sickling my feetThe way I used to do in ballet So Susan was constantly shouting at me Heels down!Heels down!We tried the canter again And this time I felt a lot more sturdy and balanced Susan said it was one hundred times better
By the end of the lesson I was wrecked And sweat was pumping out of meSusan showed me how to put up the stirrups And take off the saddle And the bridle Which was good to learn I was still pretty shook as I went back to change out of my boots and hatSusan said if I am going to pursue horse riding Then that was my first fall of many To be honest It had never occurred to me that I might fall off the horse at some point I had no fear about itAs I always thought that a fall happened when jumping Now I know different Susan said I could join the kids class on a Saturday if I wanted toOr I could continue with the private lessons I stil don't know what I'm going to do So I told her I would think about itAnd give them a ring 
The lesson yesterday was so different to the horse therapy I do on a WednesdayTherapy is so informal and relaxed And it's more about the social side of things And less about technically getting better It's about gaining confidenceAnd building a relationship with the horse and trainer To be honest I kind of felt like I was cheating on horse therapy going to another stables I just wanted to d more of it though As once a week is just not enough for me So I'm wondering if I should tell Eilish I'm doing other lessonsOr should I continue with the extra lessons at all?When I got home yesterdayI was telling my sister and her partner all about the fallMy sister was horrified She said we will already have my mom in plaster We don't need another broken bone in the house She pleaded with me not to go backBut the thing is I really want toI really enjoy the adrenaline rushThe speed The power It's like a drug My sister said that I always have to push things that little bit extra And ahe is right Maybe I am turning in to an adrenaline junkie!Who knows?
So today U is for undeterredI got back on the horse after my fallAnd i guess that's a metaphor for life When you fall down You dust yourself down And get back up Ready to fight another day I guess I've been doing that my whole life Maybe that's why the fall off Sonny didn't phase me too much 
I woke up this morning And my ribs and legs were hurting I was in with my doctor So he checked my ribs and lungs Which were fine But he said I may experience pain for a few days But you know what?I kind of enjoy the pain It's a sign I was working hardAnd living every minute of it!