I have not being weighing
And haven't done so in the past couple of months
So I have no earthly clue what I weight
And didn't really want to know either
But for the past week my curiosity has been pricked
I threw my scale in to the lake a few months ago
But there is another scale in the house
So I got it out this morning
It took me a few hours to psych myself up to do it
I stripped as I always do
And stood looking down at the scale
Wondering if this was a good idea or not
I had some numbers in my my mind
Acceptable numbers
Not acceptable numbers
Safe numbers
Dangerous numbers
I held my my breath
As if the air in my lungs would effect the number
I closed my eyes
and tentatively stepped
I must have stood there for 30 seconds or more
Daring myself to look down
My anxiety was through the roof
My heart was thumping
Adrenalin was surging through my body
You would think that I am exaggerating here
But I'm really not
It really caused me that much stress
Because I know how knowing that number can effect me
The number goes up and I spiral in to a black hole of depression
The number goes down and I sky rocket in to euphoria
It has such an effect on me
And I hate that it does
I hate that the number has so much power over me
I finally managed to open my eyes
And look down
To my surprise it read 'Low' on the screen
For a second I was confused
As I'd never seen that before
What does that mean?
That the scale has decided that I am a low weight?
Then I realized
Low meant that the battery was low
And so it couldn't give me a reading
Well if that isn't a sign I don't know what is
I didn't even look for a battery
The universe had decided that I shouldn't know my weight today
So I am not gonna argue with it
But it does leave me with a dilemma
Should I get a battery?
Should I weight myself in the doctors tomorrow?
Should I just leave well enough alone?
When I was with Mary last week
She suggested that I weigh once a week
Is that a good idea right now?
I really don't know
What do you think?
To weigh or not to weigh?
That is the question.......
