I was five miles into a nine mile training walk for my upcoming marathon when your car pulled up beside me, I didn’t think much of it until I heard you yell “HEY FAT BITCH!” I stopped and turned to look at you and you took that opportunity to throw 2 eggs and, somewhat inexplicably, an empty egg carton, at me. (Picture at the bottom of this blog)
To recap – two adult males threw the eggs and carton at me for daring to exist outside my house in a fat body. Of course they are utter cowards who sped away immediately, leaving me with so many questions:
- First of all, how did you come to have 2 eggs and an egg carton in your car? Did you throw the first ten at other fatties, or do you now dealing with 10 eggs and no carton in your car?
- Were these fatty-specific eggs that you had planned to throw, or are you guys eating cereal for breakfast until somebody can get to the store?
- How do you miss a 300 pound woman who is three feet away from you? I mean, I’m happy that I didn’t have to walk 5 miles covered in egg, but let’s work on that follow through son, you never know when a softball game might break out.
- Finally, what the hell kind of person throws eggs at strangers from their car?
It also set up a second interaction around mile seven wherein someone yelled “YO FAT BITCH!” and I yelled back “DO YOU HAVE EGGS?” The looks on their faces were priceless as they asked “What?” and I said “The last people who harassed me today threw eggs, if you don’t have eggs then you’re behind the fat bashing curve tonight.” The guy who had yelled in the first place ducked his head and said “Wow, that’s crazy. I’m sorry ma’am.”
I’m laughing about this and making jokes, and I’m allowed to do that because it happened to me, but let’s be clear that assault isn’t actually hilarious. The purpose of fat bashing is to intimidate, to terrorize; to make fat people afraid – afraid to chase our dreams, afraid to leave our houses, afraid that every stranger will be a fat basher, afraid of our bodies, hating ourselves.
So let’s just get some things clear:
You will not intimidate me. This is my neighborhood and I will not be scared to walk around it. I refuse to be scared to leave my house, I refuse to be worried that every car that slows down is going to be filled with jackasses who throw eggs at people. You will not make me forget the amazingly supportive people who exist, you will not make me lose faith in humanity, just in you.
Lest, as others have, you attempt to make the absolutely ridiculous argument that your bullying will “motivate” me to exercise, complete my marathon etc. and is therefore done for my own good, let me be clear that what you did was assault – not motivation.
What motivates me to blog, to dance, to walk a marathon, to go after my dreams, to be an activist, is the fact that there are fat people who hate themselves because they don’t know that there is another option. That there are fat people who are scared to follow their dreams because it might mean that grown ass men will literally throw eggs at them in the street.
I choose the life of an activist but let me be clear that I do not intend to suggest that my way is any better or worse than any other way fat people deal with oppression, bullying, harassment etc. To those who choose to avoid this kind of crap using whatever means works for you, you have all my respect. This is not something that should happen, you should not ever have to deal with it, or overcome it in any way. Nobody is under any obligation to take on the people who behave this way. People who throw eggs at you are seriously screwed up, you are absolutely fine. This isn’t our fault but it becomes our problem and we each get to choose how to deal with it.
In a world where prejudice, stigma, bullying, and oppression are heaped on us just,getting out of bed and not hating ourselves is a revolutionary act. And every day more and more fat people get out of bed and refuse to hate themselves, refuse to be intimidated, refuse to be held down, refuse to give up on our dreams because of fat bashing bigots. And every day there are more fat people demanding to be treated with respect, going after our dreams, and challenging fat bigotry, bullying and oppression.
And you’re still just some guys chucking eggs.
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You can only see one of the eggs, due to what I can only characterize as truly pathetic throws, the other egg and carton didn’t even make it all the way to the sidewalk.
