This morning I kissed my daughter and dropped her off at her preschool as usual. On my way out, the teacher reminded me that it was my day to volunteer with the activities, and that I should be back at 10:00 am. Therefore rather than go home to finish the housework, pay bills and make grocery lists, I went to my favorite local bookstore to kill an hour before my appointed time. I sat down and enjoyed a latté in the company of other early risers; a student surrounded by thick manuals was taking serious notes, a couple of elderly gentlemen chatting probably about old times, a business man busy on his laptop and a woman like myself browsing through the "O" Magazine while enjoying her coffee bean topped with extra foam and cinnamon. I looked out the window and thought "what has become of my life?". Oh dear, why did I go down that path - yet again. But I have been feeling a bit unfulfilled lately. I used to get up excited to go to work, be part of a team at the graphic design studio where I worked as a senior designer. I was creative and my work was appreciated and rewarded with a nice pay cheque. I felt good about my talents, my capacity to make a good living, good about myself.I soon brushed the negative thoughts aside and snapped my attention back into the magazine. A sip of coffee, I flipped the pages. A bite of my blueberry scone, I flipped the pages. Then finally came across an article I wanted to linger on, one contributed by James Griffion, the Super Dad, a writer on the blog "Sweet Juniper". His words pulled me in and by the second paragraph he managed to stir a strong emotional "ah ha" reaction when he wrote: "...when I left my job as a corporate litigator 4 years ago, it was a promise to my children: I may not be able to buy you as many things but you will know your father." ooh yes... along with a tear in my eye came a sense of validation for the choice I had made five years ago to be a stay-at-home parent. I may not be bringing in a large income freelancing projects from home, but she will know her mother.When I left the bookstore and arrived at the school, I could see the excitement in my daughter's eyes, she was thrilled and proud that I was the "volunteer mom" that day. She had been asking for the last month when it was going to be my turn. The time was at hand, I did a pretty good job at it too, the kids were a delight and I felt immense joy during the process. I am home now writing you this account feeling quite good inside and out, I AM a mother, hear me giggle! I no longer feel a lack but I realize it is a blessing to be able to be part of these early years of my daughter's life, when she is in school full time, then I can think about going back to work, it's a plan - a good one I might add.
