This Day Last Week.....

This day last week was an interesting dayI competed in my first dressage show in the morning Came home And by 3pm I was in A&EThey put me on IV paracetamolAnd Tramadol I was on 300mg a dayAnd left hospital with a script for two days But when I saw my doctor on ThursdayI forgot to bring said scriptSo I asked him to write out a new one for meWhich he did But at half the dose I took then all on Thursday Then on Friday I collected the other script From a different pharmacyDevious much?I'm not sure how many I took on Friday But it was quite a few And I spent the day totally spaced out Like an outer body experience I was going around the house cleaning like a maniac I just couldn't stop!It's strange the reaction drugs can have Then yesterday I finished off the Tramadol And today I have none I should probably just accept this And just enjoy it while it lastedMy little holiday from lifeBut I know when I go in to my doctor tomorrow I won't be able to stop myself from asking for more And I will protest my case when he says noWhich he most likely willMy mother is also on painkillers Codeine And yes It has crossed my mind to steal a few But it's just a thought I know I won't And anyway I need to be compos mentis to look after my Mum 
This is typical addict behaviour I've been here many times before Part of me wishes I wasn't prescribed the Tramadol As then I won't miss what I don't have But I was And I do Such is life And the thing is I have no pain So I don't even need them I'm chasing the buzzThat fuzzy warm feeling The waves that flood your body Like cosy blankets And the state of being somewhere in between sleep and awake When you haven't used for a while You kind of forget what the drugs felt like So this reminder is not very welcome I could jump back on the merry-go-round of addictionBut I'm not going to I'm just going to put Tramadol behind me And move on I have a life to live now Something to live for A purpose A reason to get up in the morning And I'm not giving thdt upNot without a fight.....