There's Something About Mary

Mary rang me yesterday afternoon after the meeting to arrange our next appointment
I asked her if it was true that she is leaving
She said it is
She said that it's important I come to all appointments until then
The service Mary works for is called C.A.W.T
Co-operation and working together
It's a cross border service between Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland
It's funded by the EU
But the funding has been pulled so Mary's job is no more
Her new role is in suicide prevention
She starts September 1st
This news came as bit of a shock
I've been seeing for more than two years
She has helped me massively
I can't even put in to words how much of a support she has been
The past two years have been rocky to say the least
But she has been a constant positive force in my life
She never got frustrated
Was endlessly patient
When I overdosed a couple of months ago, she was the one that sprang in to action
She has saved my sanity and my life many times
The fact that the funding has been pulled really angers me
This service is badly needed
Mary was always so busy and her role was vital in helping people suffering with EDs
But that's just typical of this country
It pulls resources from the people that need it the most
The say you can tell how well a country works by how they treat their most vulnerable
Well in that case this country sucks
I don't know where that leaves me
As of September I will have no counsellor
Mary specialized in eating disorders
A general counselor just isn't tuned in to the way a person with an ED thinks
I will miss Mary terribly
She believed in me
She always told me that it was possible to recover
She was so positive
She's leaving at a critical time
A time when I need a lot of support
Things are just starting to turn around for me and I do need all the support I can get
Mary has so much experience in this field
She will be a great loss not only to me but to the service and many other people suffering
The thing about Mary is that she goes the extra mile
If I cancel an appointment she will always ring to make sure that I am ok
When I overdosed she rallied the troops to help me
She has such a good insight in to the mind of someone with an ED
I could tell her anything
As well as helping sufferers Mary is a great support to families
She brought Bodywhys to this area and set up a support groups for families which my mother attends
I just feel really sad that she is leaving
I'm sure there are many other people like me who will miss her dreadfully
I guess I will have to start looking for another counsellor
That sucks
I will have to start from scratch all over again
I've seen so many counsellors and therapists over the years
Mary was by far the best
She kept me accountable
She helped me see that there is a life beyond my ED
She helped me believe in myself
That I can recover
That I can reclaim a semblance of a normal life
I just hope that I can hold on to the progress that I have made
I know that things can nose dive quicker than you can say relapse
I know my ED will try every trick in the book to lure me back in
I have to stay strong
I have use the tools I have been given to live life on my terms
It's going to be hard
The hardest thing that I will ever do
But I am willing to do it
I was blessed to have has Mary in my life for so long
I'm so lucky to have  had the chance to work with her
She was one of a kind
As for me
I hope that I will be ok
I will lean on my other supports
I will continue to fight
Continue to battle the thing we call ED
I won't let it claim another young life
I'll do it for Mary