There's Something About Mary

I know I knowI've used that title once or twice beforeBut there really is something about MaryAs in my MaryAs in Mary my ED therapist
I'm seeing Mary once a week nowAll in all I've been seeing her over three years nowShe has been a life saver LiterallyShe has been there for me when I couldn't speak to anyone elseAnd she seems to have an uncanny knack of knowing when I am struggling Without me uttering a word 
I saw Mary yesterdayWe always start off chatting about something unrelated to EDsAnd this week it was eye sight and glassesAs I have just got new onesWe laughed about how we each had been going about life in blurry visionAnd  now we could see!
Then it was down to businessFirst Mary wanted to know if I had been weighing myselfI said I had About two times this weekAnd in the last two weeks I thought I had gained a few poundsShe asked if she could weigh meI begrudgingly agreedMary warned me that she had a new scaleAnd it was weighing 1kg heavier than her old scaleOh great I thought to myself I stepped on to the scale But didn't look down at the numberAll the while we were having a very interesting conversation about Scales I was telling Mary about last September when I weighed myself on my uncles scalesAnd saw a number I've never seen in my life beforeA number that was so high I could barely comprehend itMary asked me what kind of scales it wasI told her it was a dial scaleShe said they are notoriously unreliableShe told me that the most reliable scales are the old fashioned onesYou know the ones where they move the actual weight on the scale?I found all this fascinating
AnywayI sat back downAnd Mary asked me what I thought my weight wasI gave her an estimateAnd I was bang onI asked her if it was a healthy weight for my heightAnd she worked out that my BMI is 21I can live with thatJust about
The reason I can live with this numberIs that I have experienced the payoffs of being a healthy weightMary and I talked about when I first started seeing herI was a shell of a personI constantly felt sick, cold and weakI felt hopeless And desperateNow that I am of a healthy weightMy physical health as well as my mental health has drastically improvedI'm now strongAnd ableAnd capableThe difference is night and day
Mary never lets me leave her office Without telling me how far I have comeShe often mentions the conference I spoke atAnd I can see the pride in her eyes She told me that whenever someone asks her if recovery is possibleAnd if they can get betterShe says that yes it is possibleAnd she thinks of meI was blown away by thisIt was such a lovely thing to sayI guess by anyone's standards My life has changed immeasurably Mary always reminds me of where I have come fromAnd that's what my meetings do tooI think it's so important Because if I forget where I've cone fromI could end up back there very easily
Mary has been more than a therapist to me On some levelI would like to think that she is a friendAnd a fellow fighter in this battle against my EDShe is the one professional in my life that I tell basically everything toI tell my doctor bitsI tell Breda bitsBut Mary?She gets all the gory details All the bits that I am ashamed and embarrassed aboutShe's the one I told about my overdose last yearShe's was first one I confided in when I was caught shoplifting I feel close enough to get to tell her these thingsBut she's also just far enough away to be objectiveI know I am blessedAnd I count my lucky stars that I have her in my lifeI've seen countless therapists and counsellors over yearsThe one who told me I was 'emancipated' I think she meant to say emaciated The one who told me I was 'not that bad' when I had a BMI of 13Oh yesThre have been many shocking onesBut Mary came in to my life at just the right timeThey say don't quit 5 minutes before the miracleAnd my miracle came just in the nick of time