Athletics Magazine

The Time I Did the Aztec Two-Step

By Brisdon @shutuprun


Ocean Coral and Turquesa, Puerto Moreles, Mexico

Mexico was great, thanks for asking.

You probably didn’t even know I was gone.  Which breaks my heart.

I know you think the above picture is a professional image, but NO – I actually took it with my phone early one morning.

You see, at this lovely hotel (and it was lovely) you had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to reserve a chair at the beach and/or pool, so this was good picture taking time. The chair thing was very cut throat. I am lucky I get up early anyway, so it wasn’t an issue for me. But, let me tell you – if you were hung over or just someone who likes to sleep in – you were screwed in the chair department.

They actually had a security guard patrolling and if you left your towel unattended on a chair too long, he’d take it. I’m sure you could be dancing naked with a machine gun and smoking marijuana and that would not be an issue – but leave a towel on your chair too long unattended and you just might be thrown in a Mexican jail for years to come.

The stressors of vacationing, I tell ya!

It was a great trip. Our room was right on the beach, so I’d get up early and see this:



The resort had a jogging path (I preferred to call it a “running” path because I am not a JOGGER dammit) that went around the resort and along the beach. It was 1300 meters or just over .75 mile – so I’d do it 8 times or so, then call it good because by that time the humidity had almost killed me (I don’t know how you guys run in that).


This is not me

I’d pop over to the buffet and take a few chocolate croissants and some fruit. Then I’d lay around the rest of the day, maybe getting up to play some beach volleyball or lift my head to order another margarita. One day Emma and I walked to the town of Puerto Moreles (about 3 miles along the beach). Emma got a bit traumatized when we passed by a nude beach (it is this place if you ever want to go). I, on the other hand, was taking it all in because I don’t get out much and my subscription to Play Girl ran out.

Here is what we look like when we are relaxed and not bickering at each other (I think that sticker on the door means you’re not allowed to wear pants on the balcony):


This picture  makes me laugh because it looks like Emma had an eye lift.


My two main men:





18 years of marriage and we kind of still look like we like each other. Or, maybe that’s the tequila talking.


I only came home with two souvenirs. The first one is this shell which is at least as big as my head:


I found it on the beach. I am still expecting something to crawl out of it and scare the crap out of me.

My other souvenir is not really something I can show you – but some of you might have had it yourself at one time if you went to Mexico. I believe they call it Montezuma’s Revenge, but you can also call it the Aztec Two Step (which I prefer because it seems very cultured – “traveler’s diarrhea” just  doesn’t have the same ring to it). I think it’s nice to bring home a souvenir that just keeps on giving!!

Today was back to reality. I went to the gym to do 8 x 800s (Yassos). I almost died because the Aztec Two Step does not mix with 8 x 800s. I always lose count of my intervals, so I brought jelly beans and ate one after each 800 to keep track. It was a very sophisticated system and worked well.


Now it’s time to catch up on all the crap that didn’t happen while I was away…

Have you ever had food poisoning? I ask this because I always worry about it when we travel and eat at a bunch of buffets. I’ve never had food poisoning even once, believe it or not.

Do you exercise while on vacation? Yep, I always run – it’s a great way to see the town/resort/city where you are staying. And you can stuff your face a bit more than you normally would.


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