I’m not a fan of the glorified torture chambers we call dental surgeries, let me explain….
After reading The Toothache Stimulation you can understand why I had to break my promise and forcibly attend…
As I entered this chamber of hell the retinas were presented with a torture chair, a tooth wizard and her shy assistant.. The wizard then began rambling at 2 million mph into her computer screen in what can aptly be described as broken English, I tried to concentrate but without any visual reference seeing her lips move it was a futile task…
I was ushered to the chair of impending doom, electronics then lowered me into a vulnerable lying position and a 1000 watt halogen light was directed at the face..
I could make out the wizard donning a mask and before the mouth could mutter “what are you going to do?” a sharp metal instrument was scraping away at my tooth…
Just as I’m recovering from the shock of the swiftness, I notice out of the peripheral vision a 10 inch needle being lowered into my mouth, still blinded by the light, the sharp is inserted into my gum and the poison administered..
Again the swiftness was astonishing, the ears immediately detected a power tool being revved up and I’m sure I remember a slight grin appear on the wizards face. The novacaine had only just got to work on the receptors when the power tool entered my mouth….
Taken from memory, accuracy is questionable due to stress
Vibrations rattled me around as I nervously waited for the moment the remaining un-numbed pain receptors reached me…. It didn’t take long… “would you like me to numb it more?” the wizard chuckled.. So what you’re saying is you didn’t numb it enough to begin with… Government cuts take the piss… Before the thought formed a responsive gesture, the power tool was back and all I could hear over the droning of the drill, was the wizard communicating with the sheepish assistant in dental Klingon, requesting something be made in the bubbling cauldron at the rear of the chamber…
The power tool ceased, to a disappointed sigh from the wizard… The resulting concoction from the cauldron was applied at a pace plasterers would be proud of, to the newly formed cavity…
Then all went quiet, except for brief bursts of Klingon, the light was still blinding, but it was now a ray of hope… Could it be over, this fast, it had only been a few terrifying minutes…. I sent a signal to the mouth “am I done now? ” the wizard remained silent, no doubt in a hurry to compete the paperwork in readiness for the next power tool victim….
“Yes, your done” The only words spoken to me by the sheepish assistant were music to my neurons…
I didn’t need telling twice, legs move, get the hell out of here…
I wished the next victim luck, then accessed the short-term memory to confirm I had ticked the option: feels uncomfortable and nervous at the dentist… I HAD.
At last zzzzzzzzzzzz
