Let’s face it, we’ve all be hurt at least once in our lifetime. Whether it was a death, a breakup, passed up for a job promotion, or simply lied to. How we handle these “hurts” varies with the individual.
Some people are so devastated that they just can’t get past the hurt. They allow the pain to consume them. They isolate themselves and their health deteriorates.
Others are devastated for a certain length of time and due to the pain being so extreme, they plot revenge. They want to hurt the person who hurt them
Then you have those who, although have going through some kind of “hurt”, will grieve, pull themselves together, and try to find the Power to Forgive.
I have been hurt many times in my life. I have experienced:
- The death of my Mother at 11 years old
- The death of my Father
- The absence of my Brother, who’s still missing
- Passed up for a job promotion
- A few pretty bad relationships that involved mental and physical abuse and well as betrayal and infidelity
- Marital problems that I’m currently working on to Forgive
The Death of my Mother
A sudden death at 11 years old, sent me into a mild depression. I couldn’t function at school and wanted to isolate myself. I found ways to stay home to where I could be close to my memories of my Mother. It took me quite a while to get passed this. Honestly, my Father should have sent me to some type of counseling to help me, but never did. How does Forgiveness come into play? I blamed God for taking my Mother away from me. We were a church going family because of my Mother. When she passed, I pulled away from God and all I knew about a church and religion.
Bad Relationship
I know we all have them but this one was my first love. My family didn’t like him. He was your typical “bad boy”. I was so attracted to him and his “image”. We lived together. He cheated. He drank. He drugged. I was oblivious to all of it. When it finally came down to the breakup, which he wanted, that’s when I started finding out all the “bad” that was going on. I was devastated. I had no self-esteem left. I hated men. I was bankrupt by the age of 22. This hurt took a year or so of therapy. It took me a long time to heal from it but I eventually did. How? By finding Forgiveness. I had to Forgive in order to move on with my life. This “hurt” really rocked my world but made me all that stronger of a person til this day.
Marital Issue
You might remember my previous post, I Love You But…. , which is still fresh in my mind. Another devastating blow that came out of the blue. I was so distraught, I sought the help of my doctor who prescribed me an antidepressant, Celexa. It’s taken about 2 weeks for the Celexa to help me be able to sleep a little at night as well as actually get up and out of bed to go to work. Despite all that is happening, and by the way, we are trying to make our marriage work, I am reaching deep inside myself to find Forgiveness. I can not allow this to tear me apart. I am dealing with the grief but also finding ways to Forgive so I am able to move on and help heal our relationship. It’s going to be a long process and it may or may not work, but at least I can say, I am trying.
In my examples above, you may have dealt with each situation differently and if were in my shoes, may not be able to find Forgiveness. However, I have Forgiven God for taken my Mother from me. I understand that was his plan for me. I have Forgiven my ex, my first love, for having an addiction and being a horrible partner. It has made me a stronger person today. And I’m currently working on Forgiveness in my marriage. It’s not easy, as again, it is so fresh but in order to help heal the pain and hopefully move on, I must find a way.
Forgiveness, to me, doesn’t mean Forgeting. It means, finding a way to let go of the hurt and move forward.
Now I open it up to you. What devastating event(s) have you been through where you were challenged to find Forgiveness. Whether you needed to Forgive someone or possibly even yourself?
