The Next Chapter....

So work has finished up And I am in the look out for some work or a course to keep me occupiedAnd to keep my brain ticking overWednesday's are now completely dedicated to horse riding I head out to the riding center at 10amAnd I stay until about 3pmI have my first lesson at 11amWhere I am in my usual group With Fintan and Pat I love our little group There is much piss taking and joking We just really enjoy the riding And each other's company It's a very supportive and caring environment I love it Then from 12pm - 1pmI take a breakHave a cuppa And watch the next lessonHelping out here and there Then at 1pm I have a private lesson Which is much tougher than the group lessonI say toughIt's more challenging than toughBut I love it I love to be pushed To try and reach whatever potential I can In the group lesson I Am usually last in line So Star literally follows the horse in front And I have very little to do But in the private lesson I am the only one in the arena So Star is depending on me for signals and instructions These horses are smart They respond to the trainers voice All she has to say is 'Right, shorten up your reigns'And the horse will immediately perk up and get ready to trot It's amazing really These are working arena horses And they know the routine inside out They know to canter at a corner They now trot means trot They know from my squeezing my knees that I want him to speed upThis weeks private lesson went a lot better than last weeks Last week I couldn't get my canter And I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong So with a canter You start with a trot You shorten your reigns Get in to a nice rhythm In complete controlThen as you approach the corner You sit in to the saddle That is the signal to the horse to speed up They say 'Sit in'And from the get go this confused me I mean what exactly does that mean To me Sit in sounded like they wAnted me to sit in to the front of the saddle But that didn't really make sense either So then another rider explained to me that sit in basically meant sit down in to the saddle In other words stop riding and trotting But even knowing that It's still hard to know when you are doing it right or wrong A lot of it has to do with feeling Feeling the rhythm of the horseAnd knowing when to sit in and canterBut look I am still very much a beginner And am probably overthinking the thing anyway As Eilish my trainer said to me I have learned in a few months what most people learn in years And what keeps me going Is when it all works out And Star goes in to a beautiful canter That feeling When it all comes together Is just priceless And makes all the frustration and confusion worth while Canter around the arena twice non stop Truly enjoying it The speed The power The utter joy it brings meIt's freakin' amazingI wish I could bottle that feeling And take it out whenever I want I live for Wednesday's And the chance to ride To spend time with my friends and the horses To Pull on my riding boots and helmet To get a leg up on to Star To smell the sharp scent of horse manure To kick Star on and start warming upTo hear the squeak of the leather as he walks To tell him he's a good boy And give him a rubTo sit up tall and straight And instruct him to trot To get in to a rythm that feels smooth and effortless To speed up in to a canter And experience the buzz of the speedThen to dismount And peel off my helmet thats damp with sweat To treat the horses with a carrot And then have a hot cup of tea with friends And talk about the lesson I love it I love it all
Anyway For lack of something to do I put my name down to do a computer course in the local women's centre I went for the interview today Which was the shortest interview I have ever done in my life They gave me a break down of the course And to be honest guys It's very basic And stuff I would already knowIt's really for absolute beginners But still I am keeping an open mind Breda my counselor also told me about a course starting soonThey is a rehabilitative course Which matches you up with something you have an interest in Trains you And provided work experience for 20 hours a week Over four years I really liked the sound of this course So I rang Breda today to tell her I am interested in starting it I am anxious to get the ball rolling As there are only ten places on the course So my next step is to call in to Breda Monday morning And fill out the forms Lost them And meet with the course coordinator So hopefully this will work out As I could ask to be placed in a stables Or animal sanctuary And of course I would be happy out in either of those placesAll I can do now is wait And as you know PAtience is not a virtue that I possess But I'm going to have to suck it up This course makes me excited though The thoughts of working in a stables is just a dream come true And hopefully I will get to ride too from time to time I just hope it works out for me Keep your fingers crossed for me... In other news I Am doing wellI miss work and my friends But I will keep in touch with them And call in to them regularly It's nice to have more time to myself But I know I will get bored if I don't keep occupied And when I get bored I tend to get in to trouble The devil makes work for idle hands and all that But I have options So that is good And I trust and believe that the right thing will happen for me at the right time ED wise I am going ok Look It's never going to be perfect I still struggle with purging from time to time But I am eating well most of the time My mood is good I feel stable and strong I feel no urge to lose weight Or to change myself in any great wayI have no idea what I weigh And I don't wAnt to know Ignorance is bliss in my opinion My clothes fit Therefore I am presuming that I've not gone over a size 8-10Which is a healthy weight for me And as they say If it ain't broke Don't fix it I hope to blog a bit more now that I have some free time And of course to catch up on yours And generally become an active member of our community again As I fear I have neglected you some what But that's life for you 
I want to thank you for still reading And got being there for me It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful the people here are This community means a lot to me You mean a lot to me And we need each other For support For company For friendship I love each and everyone of you To the moon and back....