Diet & Weight Magazine

The Life I Could Have Had – International No Diet Day

By Danceswithfat @danceswithfat

Talking NonsenseIn response to my post for International No Diet Day about The Biggest Loser and how dieting doesn’t work, I got the usual rush of responses from internet trolls to concern trolls insisting (with no evidence to back it up, of course) that all fat people can – and should! – become thin if we just [insert thing we’ve all heard a million times but doesn’t actually work] – lose weight slower, use a specific diet, call dieting a “lifestyle change”, etc. along with the usual “just because it hardly ever works doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep trying” crap.

Here’s the thing.  Been there. Done that.  Got the rebound weight gain and larger size t-shirt.  Before I did the research to understand weight and health, I made the same mistakes that these people are making now – I believed it was a matter of willpower, I believed that it had been proven that long term significant weight loss was possible,  I believed that weight loss had been proven to make fat people healthier. Just like these misguided folks, I bought into this hook, line, and meal replacement shake.  I tried incredibly hard to be thin.  I spent a tremendous amount of my time, energy, and money trying to be thin – I did everything these people are suggesting that I do now and more. And here’s what I learned.

Fuck. That. Shit.  I shudder to think of the life I could have had if I hadn’t discovered Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size. The thought of giving up the amazing life I’ve lived and am living to have instead spent all this time  – and all the time in the future – chasing thinness, weight cycling, hating my body, waiting for that mystical thin body to show up so that my life could “really start,” is horrifying  – what an absolute waste of my life that would have been.

I hear from readers all the time whose moms, grandmothers, aunts, and friends are on their deathbeds realizing that they never fully lived because they put their lives on hold until they were thin, and spent their lives trapped in a cycle of yo yo dieting, body hatred, and self loathing, and they died fat with so many regrets.  Every single time someone tells me a story like this I think how much I hope that person is resting in peace, and I realize that could have so easily been me.

I had the exact same experience that almost everyone who tries to lose weight has – I would lose weight short term, and then no matter what I did I would gain it back long term – often gaining back more than I lost.  Then, in a tribute to doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, I would try again. And I would have the same result.

So these people who tell me that I should keep trying to lose weight can take a flying leap into a vat of fat free pudding. This discussion is hypothetical to them, but it’s everything to me. Health at Every Size and Size Acceptance gave me my life back, and even if I’m wrong about the research (though I don’t think I am) and even if I have a shorter life than I would have if I had continue to pursue dieting (though I don’t think I will) I would still make the same choices. I get to live free from dieting, free from constant body hatred, free from obsessive thoughts and behaviors around food, exercise, and weight, I get to spend my time, energy, and money pursuing things that make me happy,  I can approach my health and healthcare in a way that is rational and evidence-based.

I live every day with the security of knowing that I will not be on my deathbed with the horrible realization that I put my life on hold trying to get thin, and it never happened, and now it’s over. I used to be one of those people who hated my body, and dieted constantly because I didn’t know that I had other options. Now I know – I can have a healthy relationship with food and movement, I can love my body, and I never have to diet again. That’s so much better than the life I could have had.

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff:

Like my work?  Want to help me keep doing it? Become a Member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you.  Click here for details

Book and Dance Class Sale!  I’m on a journey to complete an IRONMAN triathlon, and I’m having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here!

Book Me!  I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

I’m training for an IRONMAN! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Fighting Aging With Clarisonic

    Fighting Aging With Clarisonic

    This post is sponsored by Clarisonic and Her Campus Media. All opinions are my own. Thank you for supporting the brands that make Caits Cozy Corner possible! Read more

    15 hours, 30 minutes ago by   Cait
    LIFESTYLE
  • Classic Yet Modern Wedding in Athens | Amanda & Andreas

    Classic Modern Wedding Athens Amanda Andreas

    Amanda and Andreas wanted to create a wedding that will combine classic and modern elements together. They chose to decorate their wedding with white flowers,... Read more

    15 hours, 47 minutes ago by   Eleni Balkouli
    LIFESTYLE, TRAVEL, WEDDING
  • Varina by Charles Frazier

    Varina Charles Frazier

    What a writer this guy is! He can craft a sentence or paragraph like nobody's business. Charles Frazier's latest novel is a richly imagined account of the life... Read more

    16 hours, 30 minutes ago by   Vickilane
    CREATIVITY, PHOTOGRAPHY
  • Vintage Wedding Styled Shoot in a Villa

    Vintage Wedding Styled Shoot Villa

    Today we’re sharing with you a unique photoshoot that will transport you back in time! The aim of this shoot was to enhance the beauty of a 1500’s Villa in the... Read more

    17 hours, 7 minutes ago by   Eleni Balkouli
    LIFESTYLE, TRAVEL, WEDDING
  • This Weekend in Antwerp: 22nd, 23rd & 24th June

    This Weekend Antwerp: 22nd, 23rd 24th June

    Here’s the map! Good times! It’s Bier Passie Weekend over the whole weekend on Groenplaats. Bier Passie opens on Friday at 5. The opening hours for Saturday... Read more

    19 hours, 8 minutes ago by   Nessascityblog
    DESTINATIONS, TRAVEL
  • The Sticky Date Pudding to Die for and Amazingly Egg-less Too! - HIGHLY...

    Sticky Date Pudding Amazingly Egg-less Too! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

    version;Why will I die for these plain and simple looking sticky date puddings?Simply because it is so insanely irresistibly yummy!!! Perhaps you might do the... Read more

    22 hours, 28 minutes ago by   Zoebakeforhappykids
    FOOD & DRINK, RECIPES
  • Matcha Nama Chocolate

    Matcha Nama Chocolate

    (recipe adapted from Justonecookbook)Ingredients:400g white chocolate, chopped into small pieces (I used Ghirardelli chocolate)125ml heavy whipping cream25g... Read more

    22 hours, 30 minutes ago by   Cathysjoy
    FOOD & DRINK, RECIPES