Family Magazine

The Irony of the Stay at Home Mom

By Ladyexpat
I had all these myths about being a stay-at-home mom until I became one.  Before I had a child I worked a professional job and thought stay-at-home moms were so lucky because they got to stay home with their children and had less stress and more time to do things they enjoyed.  Boy was I wrong!  
My son will be two in a few months.  I remember after coming home from the hospital so excited but more exhausted than I have ever been.  That was until I went a few months without getting a full nights rest. and finally got so sick I literally crashed and could not get out of bed for 24 hours  People would tell me, be thankful you don't have a "job" to go to.  Sleep when your baby naps.  The problem is, I am not a napper.  I think I took a nap one time the whole infancy period of my child's life.  As far as time goes my life typically revolves around my son's schedule.  I have discovered, for example, if I go to the grocery store when my son is hungry or tired I am in for a real treat.  The treat of a screaming, crying, fussy kid.  Already it takes me more than twice as long to go places but when I push his buttons it only comes back to frustrate me.
Secondly, my house always seemed to be a wreck and the 30 minutes to 2 hour naps my son takes are my only chance to get something done because I am too tired to even think once the day is done.  I used to think when I have children and stay home with them my house will be spotless!  I thought I would have so much time to clean.  Ha!  The other day I realized I am constantly cleaning my house but sadly I am mainly just picking up the same things over and over again - toys, cleaning the floor, dishes, etc. Just when I think I'm finally going to catch up on all the laundry my son's diaper leaks and I have to change his sheets for the tenth time this month.  Which means another load of laundry.  Normally you wouldn't think it's a problem but my laundry room is in my basement which is three flights of stairs from our bedrooms.  It takes almost an hour to wash a load of clothes and another 2-3 hours to dry them.     
I sometimes get jealous of my working mom friends.  I miss dressing up for work, going to an office, eating lunch with friends (with no one to feed), and making money.  Instead I stay home, try and snack on something when I can, play games and read to my child, wear something I don't mind getting thrown up on, and miss out on many adult conversations. 
On the other hand, I do know some moms would love to stay home with their children but are unable to.  So even though I don't have the time I thought I would, my schedule is not that flexible, my house seems to constantly be in disarray, I no longer dress up to go to an office, and I sacrifice doing things because we don't have two incomes, I am blessed to be with my child.  Somethings that make it all worth it are my son's smiles, hearing him talk, watching him take his first steps, seeing his face light up when he discovers something new, and him running to me saying, "Mama" and giving me a big hug after we've been a apart for a couple of hours.  So while sometimes I miss my old life as my new life is not all that I expected it would be, I would not trade my child and my role as his mom for anything.

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