The Importance of Breast Cancer Awareness - and Not Just in October!

At work shortly before finding the lump

Since October is almost over, I need to get busy and write this post! Why might it need to be posted this month? Well, since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I feel like I should share my own experience and encourage everyone, no matter your age, to take care of your breasts through self exams and regular check-ups! Yes, I am a breast cancer survivor! It will actually be 7 years since the diagnosis this coming February. I really want to say upfront that I am so lucky to have an amazing family to support me throughout this, I’m just gonna call it a fiasco – not minimizing anything, but that’s kind of how it felt. My parents did anything and everything they could for me and I am so grateful that I had a loving, supportive family right there with me through every step, through every surgery, every “treatment”. It means the world to me and it could not have been easy on them either. So, here's my story….

After surgery, but before chemo -
the last of my hair

I found a lump in my left breast when I was 26 (I think? Everything gets blurry after a while and it was literally a few weeks before my birthday). You could actually see a small bump under my skin because it was that close to the surface. I knew right away that I needed to get it checked out and called my doctor. There was no urgency to get me in quickly since she assumed it was just a cyst. I, however, had a sense it was not going to be that easy. I think it took about a week to get an appointment which was fine with me since I had to get from NYC to Central NJ and had obligations to figure out as well. The doctor checked out the lump said the obligatory “I’m sure it’s just a cyst” and asked me to return in a week to see if it had changed at all. I believe I had my period at the time (tmi, I know) which can cause normal lumps and bumps to swell. I returned in a week and, if anything, the lump was bigger. The doctor ordered an ultrasound and decided to try a needle biopsy on the spot. Epic FAIL! The tumor, well lump at the time, was so hard that she could not penetrate it. Unfortunately this caused some bruising and bleeding around the tumor. When I went to get the ultrasound, the radiologist had trouble getting a clear picture of the area at issue because of the botched needle biopsy. Yet another fail. Now it was time to see a breast surgeon and consider a typical biopsy under anesthesia. Finally, success! Well, you know what I mean.

Hair Loss after 1 week of chemo -
Look how skinny my pigtails are!

More Hair Gone

Almost Bald - I just couldn't shave it!

My favorite wig - My Dream Hair!

Hair Returns! But I look like a boy :(

From this point, I waited for the results of the biopsy and didn’t give it much though. No sense worrying about things you have no control over, right? One month – to the day – after my birthday, I got a phone call from the breast surgeon saying I needed to come in immediately because the tumor was cancerous. That phone call no one wants to hear, but I was at least half expecting. So my parents took me to the surgeon’s office and I found out that I really had no choice but to lose my breast – nipple and all (I didn’t realize that was necessary too!). I needed an oncologist and was given a recommendation. Reconstruction was an option so I was given the name of a plastic surgeon…never thought I’d be in one of their offices! My “team” was forming. I needed about 600 tests done quickly before the surgery could be done. And thus, the ball started rolling. Grrr! I cried for a few brief moments, maybe a minute or two, in the doctor’s office which is very rare for me. I’m not a big crier and when I do cry, it’s usually in the privacy of my bedroom. This was the only time during the whole ordeal (at least the surgery and following “treatments”) that I cried.

Barclay receives his all-time FAVORITE toy for Christmas.
Meet Polly Possum!!!

The following weeks were filled with test after test after test with a few doctor’s appointments in between. The time flew by and it even seemed like there wasn’t enough time to get all this testing done. Fortunately I was not trying to work during any of this because I don’t know how anyone could do it! Unfortunately, because I felt so busy, I did not do as much research as I might have if I had to do it over again. I was scheduled for a mastectomy combined with reconstruction via a “lat flap” (I hope that’s correct :/) and an implant. Just what I always wanted. Breast implants L I opted to get implants on both sides because I naively believed that they would be more likely to match that way – they don’t! Nothing too different from my starting point, though somehow I ended up 2 cup sizes larger…and the doctor was trying to convince me I could go even larger! Somehow being Nicole Kidman tall and similarly thin, I just did not see anything larger seeming believable. I still question the believability of their size even now. The surgery took about 7 or 8 hours and both the mastectomy and reconstruction were done at once. Not to get too graphic, but the "lat flap" reconstruction consisted of shaving a layer of muscle and fatty tissue from my back, wrapping it around under my armpit and creating a breast-like pocket that an implant could live inside. I swear I was told I would have maybe a 2” scar on my back from this part of the procedure. The scar is probably at least 6-10”. Grrr! But the morphine drip in the hospital was amazing! (I’m not endorsing morphine here, just, Wow! I understand the draw of heroin now…not sure that’s a good thing! Lol!) I came home with 2 drains I had to take care of for about a month (well, 1 drain was removed rather quickly and the really annoying one at my waist that I hit every time I moved took forever to come out!). So now the surgery was complete and onto the next phase – chemo!

Hair is curly when it returns!!!

I went through a number of highs and lows regarding whether or not I needed chemotherapy. The margins were clear from the removal of the breast tissue, and for a reason I’ve forgotten, it was still recommended I have “preventive chemotherapy.” I was skeptical, but it increased the chance of not having a recurrence by a huge percentage so I knew I had to do it. So I went through only about 4 treatments which was mercifully short, but no less miserable. A port was placed in my arm to make the infusions of poison, aka chemo, easier and safer. That scar is about an inch long. J Of course after everything was done, I was told that a plastic surgeon could have done the procedure which would have created much less scarring. Grrr again! The chemo sessions lasted for about 1 ½ to 3 hours. I’ve forgotten…or maybe blocked…that memory! Lol! My father was very kind and took me to my appointments and sat with me and chatted the whole time. Both of my parents were wonderful throughout the whole ordeal and I’m sure it was not easy for them. But back to me! Lol! I ended up quite nauseous after every treatment and slept a lot. I was lucky and did not have too many side effects…well I didn’t realize the side effects I had were from the chemo at least! My acne returned and got worse and my formerly invisible – seriously…people used to comment on what amazing skin I had and I never knew why until the crater pores appeared – pores turned into my least favorite feature. My hair, eyebrows and eyelashes did fall out and it was quite devastating. It took a good two years for my hair to return to the length it was at the time of the diagnosis and I don't think my eyebrows and eyelashes ever fully recovered. I wore wigs briefly and hated it. I always felt like it was so obvious and, therefore, I was super self-conscious about wearing them. Showering was a breeze though! It was so quick and easy without having to wash and condition my long mane – I did have a special shampoo that I used, but it took about 2 seconds. Never have I taken such quick showers! And taking care of my short hair as it was growing back in was soooo simple! Little did I know that the amazingly dry, flaking skin all over my body was due to the chemo too. I also had really loose teeth that took turns threatening to fall out. Again, I believe it was from the chemotherapy. They tightened right back up shortly after the “treatments” stopped, though my teeth are slightly more crooked than they used to be. Of course I was exhausted and terribly sick to my stomach most of the time, but other than that, I did not have much else going on – thank goodness!!! And that’s really the bulk of the “treatment”.

The last of the curls :(

To this day, I am still incredibly fatigued all the time and my memory is atrocious. It has been nearly 7 years and I cannot say I feel back to normal…somewhat better, but not the way I was. It’s been an interesting experience and I would not wish it on anyone and certainly hope I never have to go through it again, but I also live with a daily nagging thought that it’s likely to come back because I was so young. Hopefully that’s irrational. But it would seem all is well now and, at times, I think about having a preemptive mastectomy on the other side – and I must admit it’s partly for cosmetic reasons. I’m not sure I ever will, but it would eliminate some worry in my brain, I just don’t want two bionic boobs!!! That, in a nutshell, is essentially my experience with breast cancer. What’s the point of this lengthy tale? I’m not entirely sure other than the fact that, no matter your age, it is incredibly important to do breast self exams and schedule regular check-ups with your ob/gyn. And if anything seems even just slightly off, please, please, please have it checked out because you never know! Chances are very great that it is nothing, but do not take a chance with your health! Should the diagnosis not be one you want to hear, you can get through it. It may not be easy and everyone’s journey is different, but your life is not over so never give up hope!!!

Cookies for those who made it through this lengthy and potentially troubling post! I really hope no one is troubled by it though as that was not my intent. Just wanted to share a shortened, and, yes, this is kind of a brief overview!, version of my experience with breast cancer. Please everyone, keep checking those ta tas!!! Lol!