Athletics Magazine

The Hung-Over Run

By Brisdon @shutuprun

I am going to go out and a limb and assume that I am not the only one who has ever run with a hang over.

I don’t really recommend it because it is a miserable undertaking. Also, it’s just plain dumb. You feel like crap and you are dehydrated and you might end up asleep in a crosswalk (do you love the bottom of my shoes?).

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Thankfully hangovers are a rare thing for me. I’m too old for this shit.

On Saturday night we went to a couple’s Valentine’s Day party. There was an open bar (dangerous) complete with a bar tender found on Craigs List. He was a nice man although he did have crazy eyes that went in different directions. I alternated which eye I looked at every time I ordered a glass of wine.

Ken and I pretended we were at Prom. Get a room!

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I am not sure what is going on here, but it looks fun.

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Our partners in crime for the evening.

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There was a ton of dancing to the songs middle aged people like. We really get excited when Love Shack came on. I was accused of dancing like a white woman who thinks she is a gifted dancer, but in fact has no rhythm or natural ability. Just like my running.

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OMG! That was so much fun…until 7:00 a.m. Then it wasn’t fun anymore. At all.

Ken and I had planned a long trail run for Sunday. I was going 14 miles, he was going 10. That is hilarious.

Me: This is going to be awful and torturous
Ken: I might puke. Or take a nap on the side of the trail.
Me: Please don’t puke. I’m really not up for that. Or at least go way off the trail.
Ken: My legs are shaking.

We got to the trailhead and I spent a considerable amount of time sitting on the pit toilet. I hate pit toilets with a passion, but I just wasn’t moving that quickly. I sat there terrified that something was going to come up from the depths of the toilet and bite my ass. I wondered how the powers that be keep animals out of these toilets. You think very profound things when you are hung over.

We started running and it was amazing. It was the distinct feeling of running through molasses and quicksand with weights on your feet. 14 miles seemed more impossible than doing my next marathon on Mars (or in Jerusalem). I started to re-evaluate. Perhaps I could run fewer miles and do 14 later in the week? I mean, was I really getting any decent fitness running under these conditions?

In the end we covered 8 miles and climbed 811 feet. I spent the entire time thinking about a huge egg sandwich and a nap.

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Enough about me. Let’s make this post educational.

Tips for Running with a Hang Over

  • Shut up and run. Sweat out the toxins, baby! Oxygen increases the rate that alcohol toxins are broken down, so get outside. Running may even release some endorphins to boost your crappy “why the hell did I do that” mood.
  • Coffee. That is all.
  • Poop. Try to clean the pipes beforehand. Like me on the pit toilet. This will hopefully cut down on GI distress while running. While running, fart and burp as much as possible. Get it out.
  • Drink Nuun. I have no scientific evidence for this, but replacing some electrolytes and fluids is a good idea. I love Nuun because it is fizzy and not too sweet. It was the ultimate in refreshment on Sunday morning. Regardless if it’s Nuun or not, hydrate well before you even start.
  • One word - eggs. Eggs contain taurine, which has been shown to reverse liver damage caused by a night of debauchery.

I hope you learned something today.

Thoughts on running hung-over? Ever done it?

What did you do for VD?

 

SUAR


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