According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, approximately six people suicide in Australia every day. That equates to one death every four hours.
Six people who have families that love them; friends who will miss them.
Lifeline report that for every completed suicide it is estimated that as many as 30 people attempt. That’s 180 attempts per day—more than one new attempt in Australia, every 10 minutes.
Almost nine years ago I lost someone I loved to suicide.
In the weeks and months that followed his death, whenever anyone asked how I was, I always replied that I was okay.
Yet with every breath I took I was acutely aware that I was anything but okay. Nothing at that time was okay; I was lost, broken and believed I would never be okay again.
For most of my friends life returned to normal and for a split second every time I woke up I forgot he was gone. Then I would remember.
Grief would crash over me; a physical ache in my chest like I’d run too hard and fast, as though any moment it would explode. Memories seemed to slip away before I could reach them. I couldn’t remember his voice without calling his voicemail.
As the years have passed, the pain which was once so raw has softened; it has become about remembering the joy rather than reliving the pain. It has softened but will never leave me completely.
And every now and then that raw pain pops out and blindsides me. For five minutes. An hour. An entire weekend.
I have been exceptionally lucky that throughout the dark days I have always had a strong support network of family and friends lighting the way for me. Even when I didn’t know I was lost.
Friends were always just a phone call away, turning up with chocolate when I was too sad to leave the house.
My brother held my hand through the funeral, his heart breaking too.
Mum once squeezed into a change room to hug me because the shop we were in was playing a song from the funeral. Tears streamed down my face as I struggled to breathe, even though it had been years since he had gone.
Writing this post has brought tears to my eyes and that familiar ache to my heart but it was time for me to tell my story. To let other know what impact suicide had on my life and how important it is for us to ask ‘RUOK?’.
It is important for us to look out for our friends and family, even those who don’t seem depressed or upset; to let them know that there is someone to support them if they need it. Someone who will shine a light to help them find their way out of the darkness.
Someone who asks ‘RUOK?’ and genuinely cares about the answer.
Thursday 13 September 2012—RUOK day—is not just about asking those around you if they are okay (as we should do every day), it is about finding the courage to speak up when you’re not okay.
For those looking for help, please reach out and call 1800 RUOKDAY (1800 7865 329)
This number connects you to five of Australia’s crisis and information lines: Lifeline, Suicide Call Back Service, Kids Helpline, SANE Australia helpline and beyondblue Info Line. It’s a free call from any landline in Australia.
If you are calling from a mobile phone, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 to connect to 24/7 phone counselling for free.
