The Boy: First Meeting

OkSo you know that I've been in contact with The BoyThe boy being my ex boyfriends best friendWe've been texting back and forth over the last few weeksTalking about meeting upBut it never seemed to happenSo Wednesday I decided to take the bull by the hornsAnd suggested we meet up yesterdayIn a local coffee shopI was both thrilled and terrified when he repliedAnd the date was set for 3pm
ThankfullyI met a friend in the morningAnd was able to ground myselfI really didn't want my feelings to cloud my judgementAnd as you know I am impulsive and compulsive And can't always trust myselfSo talking with my friend was great
I do not exaggerate when I say I was high on nerves all dayI still hadn't told any of my family that I was meeting The BoyBut when I told my sister I was going out to meet someoneShe straight away knew I was up to somethingSo I told her where I was goingShe also gave me a pep talkAnd offered to ring me mid date If I needed an escapeI declined her offerAs the only reason I would have needed an escape is if he was out of his headOr blatantly usingAnd  I was pretty sure he wasn'tAlthough I wasn't positive
Then I had to figure out what to wearI wanted to look casual but prettyEffortless but put togetherSo I decided on my blue Fat Face jumperMy wine coloured Brakeburn trousers My new Roxy high topsAnd my Superdry snoodI also straightened my hairAnd ruffled it so it looked tousled and shaggyI decided against make upBecause I have no idea how to apply make up properlyAnd I didn't want to look too done upSo I applied a little foundationJust enough to give me youthful glow
We were meeting at threeSo I decided to leave earlyAs I wanted to be the first one to get thereI settled on a comfy couchOrdered a cup of teaAnd tried to look relaxed and confidentA few minutes laterAnd I get a text from the boy saying he is running a few minutes lateDamnAll this waiting was making me even more nervousI started to worryAbout what we would talk aboutWhat he would think of meWhat if idid or said something really embarrassingWhat if the second I saw himI jumped his bonesThis was a lot more likely to happen than you would thinkRemember I haven't dated in a long long time
To get out of my headI picked up a newspaper I was sitting by the doorDo every time the door opened I looked up to see if it was himEventually he arrivedAnd apologised for being late He sat down beside me on the couchHe looked different to what I rememberedWhen I knew him years agoHe had a shaven headTattoos all overClean shavenNow he has long hairAnd a beard no less I think I said before that he is attractive in a kind of earthy manly wayLovely eyes And a smile that could break hearts 
We got straight to catching upTalked about people we knewWhere they are nowTalked about the drugAnd how fucked up we were back thenWe laughedLaughed a lotAlways a good sign in my bookHe told me that he has a sonAnd he is singleWhat a coincidenceSo am I
We chatted for a long timeThen he went out for a smokeAnd I went to the bathroomWe settled back down againAnd spoke for another whileIt was niceNo awkward silencesHe is easy to talk toEasy to get on withBut thenHe always was
After a couple of hoursI stretchedAnd said I better goWe finished our drinksAnd went outsideThen came the awkward bitWe had said good byeYet we were still standing looking at each otherI was thinking to myself should I hug him?Does he want to kiss me?I really couldn't gauge the situationAnd I felt so silly just standing thereSo I made a move to goAnd said goodbye againEven though it was obvious he was holding out for somethingSorry dudeI don't kiss on the first dateActually that's a lieI have kissed plenty of boys on a first dateBut there was one big differenceI was either drunk or stonedDealing with dating and the like stone cold sober is a whole different kettle of fish let me tell youI need to pace myself 
I got home and had a chat with my sisterI told her that I think I just want us to be friendsBut I'm really not sureI guess I don't know what I wantI felt a bit bad that I hadn't at least hugged him when I leftSo I decided to text himTo tell him that it was great to see himAnd to text me when he wants to meet againHe texted back and said it was great to see me tooAnd that I 'looked great'What does that mean?What does that mean people?Is he just being nice?Or does he like me?Man I am so rusty and out of practice
Even though this is all very nerve wracking and confusingI must sayIt is great funI had forgotten how nice it feels to like someoneTo get butterfliesI think this is progress ladiesEven if nothing happens between me and himAt least I have had some funAnd made a new friend
NowNext missionSecond date here I come.......