-It’s been a few days but I don’t think I missed that much (besides Gwyneth Paltrow admitting that she’s tried Botox, a Catching Fire trailer dropping, Tyrese saying a whole bunch of stupid shit and then kinda apologizing, Patti Smith laying down some wisdom, and the entire internet getting fooled by a sketchy story about a Friends reunion).
-One thing I didn’t miss was having to read about Amanda Bynes‘ daily breakdowns. Yesterday she posted a bizarre video about primping for a night out while sucking on Sour Patch Kids (no, really), a video which she later called “perfection” in her latest Twitter rant. Oh, and then today she stepped out looking like this.
-Kristen Stewart (who was at Coachella with RPattz) is officially on board for the Snow White sequel. Strap in for the most awkward press tour ever!
-Lindsay Lohan (also at Coachella but I managed to avoid her completely — woot!) is still debating her rehab options.
-Meanwhile, Amanda Seyfried very awkwardly answered a question about her Mean Girls costar Lohan in a new interview with Allure.
-Speaking of Allure, check out the stars who stripped down for their annual naked issue.
-Jimmy Kimmel joked about our buffoon of a mayor on last night’s show.
-Malin Akerman had a son yesterday and I’m pretty sure I had no clue she was pregnant. In any case, mazel!
-In a deposition for her divorce trial, Kim Kardashian just admitted that she’s spent more time in her relationship with Kanye West apart from him than with him. Hope she enjoys semi-single motherhood!
-Macauley Culkin got into an altercation with some photogs while leaving a bar in Brighton last night.
-Thom Yorke and Nigel Godrich participated in Rookie’s “Ask a Grown Man” video series and it was awesome. I kind of want to watch these guys give dating advice to teen girls for the rest of my life.
-Bad news for The Hives. A Swedish court has ruled that they must pay The Cardigans $3 million that was shuffled around by a management company representing both groups.
-This is blowing up the intertubes today: a deleted scene from this week’s Parks & Recreation in which the director asked guest star Patton Oswalt to improvise a filibuster and he launched into an epic, eight-minute, one-take nerdfest.
-Funny or Die’s 78-minute Steve Jobs biopic starring Justin Long has landed.
-Conan O’Brien interviewed the creator and cast of Breaking Bad. It’s an hour long so I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet, but yay!
-Meanwhile, AMC just announced that Breaking Bad‘s final 8 episodes will begin airing Aug. 11, followed weekly by a post-episode chat show, Talking Bad. Double yay!
-Also, Aaron Paul sent a cryptic tweet about hosting a finale viewing party in a cemetery.
-Salt of the earth gents Chris Brown and will.i.am have been accused of plagiarizing their new track.
-Gillian Anderson looks fab on the set of Hannibal. Crap, I’m going to have to start watching it now, aren’t I?
-Whoa. When did Friday Night Lights actress Aimee Teegarden become all grown up?
-Adele turned down a seven-figure deal to write a memoir because she’s “far too young.”
-Pamela Anderson actually looks ok here, which is weird and disconcerting.
-Coolio still thinks he’s living in a gangster paradise. He’s facing charges for allegedly punching his live-in girlfriend…and then hitting her with his car!
-Ozzy Osbourne has denied that his marriage to Sharon is on the rocks, but he did admit that his substance abuse has caused a rift between them.
-Carey Mulligan looks amazing in the new issue of Vogue.
-Seth MacFarlane is pissed that a fan-cut video makes it look like Family Guy predicted the Boston marathon explosion.
-Meanwhile, Stephen Colbert‘s note-perfect response to Boston tragedy is worth a watch.
-Obama told the Today Show that he had “better things to do” than help Beyonce and Jay-Z plan their vacation to Cuba.
-Is this the final nail in Britney Spears‘ career? She’s releasing a song for Smurfs 2.
-Paramount is playing up World War Z‘s blood and gore to try to make us care. Meh, I’m still not there.
-Huzzah! The Pitch Perfect sequel is a go!
-Everyone’s talking about Evan Rachel Wood‘s baby bump, but I’m more focused on her bad makeup. What’s going on there? Too much powder?
-Jennifer Aniston is into cupping (which sounds way dirtier than it really is).
-Rihanna was spotted at a doctor’s office, which kicked off speculation that’s she’s pregnant (because why else would a young woman possibly need to visit a doctor?!), but her camp is shooting down the rumours.
-Is anyone else really surprised that Victoria Beckham is only 39? She seems older to me, for some reason.
-Good news for Emma Watson and Sofia Coppola: Bling Ring is expected to open Cannes‘ Un Certain Regard program.
-Jada Pinkett-Smith tried to explain her “open marriage” comments but ended up just making it worse.
-Even I have to admit that the new Man of Steel trailer is kinda impressive.
