Now I sit here with my BIG race done, my son off to college, my daughter back in school as a sophomore and ....crickets.
Well, there are always these two. Wait for it...
Can you say "transition time"? Yep, that's what I'm feeling. I've been told to embrace transition and change. Hell, I've even read books about it. But as humans we like to resist it. Change is scary, hard, emotional...and, yeah, change keeps us moving forward I suppose.
These are the times when I get the most introspective and questioning - wondering, with Sam gone - who will mow the lawn? Who will eat all the salsa and leave it caked on plates in the basement? Who will forget to leave his laundry in the washer until it gets all mildewed? Who will tell me, when I fart at the table, that girls shouldn't fart and it's gross (I could not have raised a child who would say such a thing. What's wrong with him? Farts are a gift from God and provide laughter, relief and bonding).
I miss you, Sammy.
Sam's leaving also brings up identity issues. Who I am beyond a mom? (a mediocre blogger! That's what I am!) What happens when your kids don't "need" you so much anymore? Are you still as worthwhile? I know that if you are once a parent, you are forever a parent, but the role changes.
Role reversal. Hey Sammy remember when you used to sit on my lap? Hey, Dr. Pepper isn't
all that good for you. Need me to iron that shirt? Are you going to fall out of that bed?
You need a rail.Seriously, I'm building you a rail.Where's Home Depot?
And, tell me this. Am I the only one that experiences a bit of grief and loss after a big race has come and gone? I like to call it PTRD (Post Traumatic Race Disorder) and it's usually characterized by things like:
1. Immediately searching on the Internet for the next race you can sign up for.
2. Repeatedly gazing through pictures from race day in an effort to re-live the experience.
3. Listening to and re-listening to any songs that remind you of the race.
4. Taking any chance to bring up your race conversation. "Hey person in the checkout line with me! What's up? Any weekend plans? Me? Well I'm kind of tired as I had this big race last weekend..."
5. Wearing your race shirt everywhere hoping to strike up said conversation.
6. Eating all the food because clearly you are still in calories deficit from the race.
7. Continuing to post things about the race on social media even though every is probably over it.
8. When official race pictures become available, post them too. Re-live experience again.
Just...one...more
How's back to school going in your house? Do you have kids in college yet?
Ever experience any of the signs of Post Traumatic Race Disorder, or what do you do when a big race is over?
SUAR
