Stage 1 – Shock
No. There is no mistake.
Some advice:
Stop making that face immediately. Nobody wants to see that.
Stage 2 – Denial
Well, what else are you gonna do? Write a strongly worded letter to the contest/publisher/artistic director in question calling them a loser and telling them to go do some explicit to a body part with a plunger household item?
Some advice:
Don’t do that.
Stage 3 – Anger
After all the time and Energy and Sweat Blood Tears MISSED HOURS OFAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHH
STELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
SOME BLEEPIN’ ADVICE:
Put down the bat.
Do not punch a mirror. Or a wall. Maybe a pillow. Or your sister’s stuffed rabbit.
Stage 4 – Depression
As soon as you punch that rabbit, the anger dissipates, replaced by a deep sadness that makes you want to rip off your pants, put on your fuzzy robe and eat every donut in the world.Some advice:
Do not listen to Enya.
Or Sarah Machaksfjsjadj Mclachlan.
Do take off your pants. That’s an automatic win.
Stage 5 – Jealousy
SO. Bob Jim and Mary Lou Who’s plays were “good enough”?
Yeah well, I heard that their plays SUCK AND KICK PUPPIES.
THAT’S FINE, I DON’T EVEN WANNA BE ASSOCIATED WITH A THEATRE COMPANY WHO CHOOSES PLAYS THAT KICK PUPPIES, I LISTEN TO SARAH MCLACHLAN
Some advice:
Don’t eat mice feel bad. Feel the feeling. Accept the feeling. Then kick it in its ass and move on.
Stage 6 – Acceptance
Finally. The clouds have parted. You have stumbled across a few new contests to enter. Your friends have brought you beer.
Lots of beer.
You’re drunk
Things ain’t so bad.
Some advice:
Don’t sing Koombaya. That’s totally cliche and unoriginal.
Stage 7 – Blogging
Or you know, something else fun. Like skeetball. Or sky diving.
Some advice:
Never stop writing. Never stop submitting.
And never forget to laugh.