Lifestyle Magazine

Stuff My Toddler Says

By Everemma

Easter Is All About Hats
I would like to preface this by saying that if someone told me that their child said half of the ridiculous things little e says I would probably not believe them. I would likely think they were talking their kid up, trying to make us think their child was more advanced or wittier than they actually are. I'm not trying to do that here. Really I just need to write these down for future laughs and potential blackmail. 
We heard an ad on the radio about Donald Trump.little e: "Donald Trump! I like him."Me: Why?little e: "Because. . . because he is my real daddy."Me: Uhhhhh
We went to the park. Around the park is a walking trail. An older gentleman walked past us on said trail. little e: "Who is that handsome boy?"
We're at Costco, looking at clothes. There is a man near us also looking at clothes.little e: "Whose Grandpa is that?"
I'm folding laundry. Little e comes up to me, puts her arm around me and goes, little e: "Thanks so much for coming to my party, doll"Me: Uhhh You're welcome?
We're eating dinner, Tom asks her a question, using her name. She interrupts and says, little e: "E___ is not here, I am Shanepa now."
I asked little e to pick up her toyslittle e: "Why are you being such a freakin' godmother today?"Me: Uhhhhh
little e shuts the door of the office and comes and leans on my desk, little e: "He freaks me out."Me: "Who?"little e: "Tibby. He freaks me out, but he is not going to die."(Tibby is our cat.)
little e: "You don't look like a super hero.Me: Who? Me?little e: No! I'm talking to my toe.
litter e gets out of the tub and I look at her pruny hands and ask, Me: What happened to your hands?She looks down and gets this terrified look on her face and screams.
Kids really do say the darndest things!What's the craziest / funniest thing you have heard a kid say?

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